Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

I think you are right mostly in some countries ,more and more people hiring a personal fitness trainer. But i think this is wastage of money .In the previous time people mostly playing sports and doing exercise to fit our body.To hire our personal trainer is not a positive development because I I experience the personal trainer. In 2025, I was personally hire a gym trainer to fit my body but I was wrong that i hire a personal trainer and i was fit my body.My father is an retire indian army officer he told me that i was fit my body for playing sports and doing exercise .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 109 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally. While the student attempts to identify reasons for hiring trainers and expresses a negative opinion, the ideas are severely under-developed and lack the necessary depth or supporting examples required for an IELTS essay. The response reads more like a brief personal anecdote than a structured argumentative essay. To improve, the student must expand on the reasons (such as convenience or professional guidance) and provide a more balanced, academic discussion of the positive and negative aspects of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure, with no paragraphing to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are presented in a disjointed manner, making the progression difficult to follow. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and arguments, resulting in a repetitive and mechanical flow. For example, the transition between the personal anecdote and the father's advice is abrupt and lacks logical connection. To improve, the student should focus on using clear paragraph breaks and linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to create a more logical flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to convey complex ideas. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'wastage of money' (should be 'a waste of money') and 'fit my body' (should be 'get fit' or 'improve my fitness'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic in an academic context. To improve, the student should work on learning collocations related to health and fitness and attempt to use more precise terminology rather than relying on simple, repetitive phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'In 2025, I was personally hire'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and there is a lack of complex sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, correct verb tense usage, and proofreading for punctuation errors. Mastering simple sentence structures before attempting complex ones would be a beneficial first step.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.