Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era, people are significantly hiring personal trainer for their fitness instead of playing sports or doing exercise. Since there are numerous factors leading to hiring personal trainer, I will shed some light on it as well as I will explain that is this situation is going to be fruitful or not.

Nowadays, many individuals are choosing personal gym trainer for maintaining fitness on top of playing games, doing yoga and exercise. It is believed widely that due to advancement in strength training many individuals are going gym and in beginning they end up hiring a personal trainer as they don't know the basic forms and positions of exercises. Moreover, if they do not hire personal trainer and start by their own, it can take a lot of time to get understand everything and they may not even get the desired results.

On the other hand, people are giving up on exercise classes as learning a exercise in classes could be get boring sometime. That is why those individuals get attracted towards practical learning from a personal trainer. Furthermore, many folks wants to play sports for being fit, however due to unavailability of sports resources could lead them to join a gym and hire a personal trainer.

The modern global village has now proper awareness of fitness and training as they hire personal coaches. In my perspective it is a positive development as the more and more people are stressed and busy in their personal and work-life, they hardly get a chance to improve their fitness via sports or exercise classes.

Ultimately, due to advancement in gym equipment and awareness in fitness industry many individuals get attracted towards hiring a personal tutor for being in shape on top of playing sports or doing exercise at home due to unavailability of resources.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding why classes become 'boring' is brief, and the argument for why this is a positive development lacks depth, relying on a general statement about stress rather than exploring the long-term health implications or the quality of professional guidance. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or elaborate further on the consequences of this trend to ensure all parts of the task are fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'moreover', 'on the other hand', and 'furthermore' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some sentences are repetitive, particularly in the conclusion, which restates points already made without adding new insight. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, distinct focus would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'strength training', 'fitness industry', and 'gym equipment'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'significantly hiring' instead of 'increasingly hiring', and 'personal tutor' when referring to a fitness trainer. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic descriptors. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'is this situation is going to be fruitful', 'learning a exercise', 'many folks wants', and 'due to unavailability of sports resources could lead them'. These errors, while not impeding communication, are persistent. To achieve a higher band, you need to focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately. Proofreading for these common slips will help improve your accuracy significantly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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