Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few countries hiring a personal trainer gradually increasing, instead of playing sports or excercise. The cause behind is lack of time and traffic congestion .This is a negative development, i will gave my own example in upcoming paragraph.

To begin with first reason, in all the world everyone have busy schedules. There are number of people who are working at night time and their sleep time is different than others, the night people sleep at day, furthermore, the people cannot join gym according to busy schedule. They perfer to hire fitness trainer , which helps to check their healthy and safety in all way. Moreover, it is truth that every house have one or two cars and for sport and exercise require open space such as playgrounds, to reach the place, it is hard, due to traffic Jam. For example in “Delhi” it takes an hour to go only 8 km, which is time consuming.

Upcoming to next paragraph, this is a negative development. It creates less social interaction. If , suppose, if every individual is working and spending time by himself, it becomes a habit to stay at home, as a result , the person cannot make good connections with society. Not only but also , hiring a gym trainer is experiencing. The fitness trainer , the trainer have special diploma and that’s why the charge high. For instance, if a gym trainer, join caoching and training classes, they require health, food, medical exams which is hard, because of hard training the get high.

In mh opinion, it is a negative development, as i mentioned above, the human is social animal, without social connection, in furture, it wil give birth to behaviour concern.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the reasons (time constraints and traffic) are relevant, the explanation regarding the negative aspects is somewhat underdeveloped and occasionally confusing, particularly the argument about the trainer's qualifications and costs. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and logical flow. To improve, ensure that each point is fully explained with clear, logical steps rather than jumping between ideas. The conclusion is brief but restates the position effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Upcoming to next paragraph' or 'Not only but also'. Some transitions are missing or awkward, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between the trainer's training and the cost is difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'experiencing' instead of 'expensive' and 'behaviour concern' instead of 'behavioral issues'. The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. For example, instead of 'check their healthy', use 'monitor their health'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more topic-specific terms related to fitness and social trends would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include missing articles ('in few countries', 'in all the world'), subject-verb agreement errors ('everyone have', 'the person cannot make'), and awkward phrasing ('the get high'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and capitalization errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would lead to immediate improvements.

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