Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, there is a significant increase in the number of personal fitness trainers for staying fit rather than performing physical activities. This essay shall discuss negative impact of it.

Mainly due to increase of desk jobs, people often becoming lazy, it leads to fat gain. During old times most the jobs involves in doing physical activities. For example if there is an inventory management, people used to go to the storage are and check each load by moving materials back and forth, make a note of everything. But as the technology advanced now an individual just need to sit at the desk and make an entry of the stocks.

However, due to decrease of physical activity in the work, people are choosing to hire personal fitness trainer to stay fit, loss fat. I do believe this a negative development instead of going for a run where one can get natural air, feeling fresh, reducing stress people choose to run on a treadmill.

Moreover, to stay fit there are multiple sports. For instance, playing cricket helps people in making new friends. Any sport will help individual understand how important to stay committed to the work, handling failures and success, it will build competitive spirit among them. Or people can join physical exercise classes like yoga, it helps in staying calm in situations and reduce stress.

In conclusion, I pen down saying it is very important to do multiple activities for staying fit rather than just hiring a personal fitness trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention desk jobs as a reason, the explanation is slightly repetitive. The discussion on the negative aspects focuses heavily on the benefits of sports rather than directly critiquing the act of hiring a trainer itself. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with more specific reasoning or examples that directly link back to the prompt's core question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the transition from desk jobs to the conclusion of that paragraph feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'inventory management', 'competitive spirit', and 'significant increase'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'loss fat' instead of 'lose fat' or 'doing physical activities' which could be more naturally phrased as 'engaging in physical exercise'. Some phrasing is also slightly simplistic. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to health and fitness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'most the jobs involves' (should be 'most jobs involved') and 'it leads to fat gain' (a comma splice). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and punctuation will help improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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