Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, an increasing number of people have chosen to hire a personal trainer instead of participating in sport or attending sports classes. This trend can be attributed to several factors, and in my opinion it is a largely positive development.
One of the main reasons behind this trend is growing demand for personalized fitness programs. Personal trainers designed their programs according to their clients needs.
For example - If someone is doing fat loss so they make their diet plan based on their height and weight. Additionally, they can help their customers properly to maintain their total calories.
In addition, many people have busy schedules and prefer the flexibility offered by personal trainers. Furthermore, they can reduce the chance of injury while performing exercise in the gym and motivate them to push more to reach the goal faster.
Another reason for increasing health and fitness. Nowadays, folks are more aware of their health.
So, they try to eat the meals which are healthy and prescribed by their own instructor. As a result, they are more willing to invest money and time in professional trainers who can assist them to achieve better health at a high pace.
However, there are some drawbacks. Hiring a professional trainer can be expensive and make it accessible to many people. Moreover, participating in group classes can lead to learning some new skills like teamwork and communication. To add on, you can make your new friends and do social gatherings together .
Pondering over the topic, people are hiring personal fitness trainers as they provide more facilities like flexibility, customized programs and professional guidance. Although, I believe this is a positive development overall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of personalized programs and flexibility. However, some points are under-developed; for instance, the explanation of 'fat loss' is simplistic and lacks depth. The argument regarding the drawbacks is also somewhat brief. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific details or logical consequences to ensure the development of your ideas is more thorough and persuasive throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, such as the shift from discussing health awareness to the cost of trainers. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the flow and logical structure of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'personalized fitness programs,' 'flexibility,' and 'professional guidance.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'make it accessible to many people' (which contradicts the point about expense) and 'do social gatherings together.' The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing, ensuring that your word choices accurately reflect the intended meaning in a formal context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Personal trainers designed their programs' instead of 'design') and awkward phrasing ('If someone is doing fat loss so they make their diet plan'). Punctuation errors, such as the misuse of hyphens and commas, also occur. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on consistent verb tenses and refining your sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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