Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modernized epoch, the health and fitness sector has gain a tremendous impact among the proponents of the society. Owing to this, in distinct nations, a large number of an individual's hire a personal fitness trainer instead of doing any physical activity like playing games or going to the exercise classes. There are multifaceted rationales behind this statement such as for motivation with an expert guidance. Nevertheless, I assert that the aforementioned statement has more negative implications which are streamline in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the paramount reason of hiring a fitness trainer is to get motivation along with an expert advice. To specify it in detail, people nowadays are much concerned about the health, however they lose their motivation and leave the task in the halfway, so in order to achieve their goal they hire a fitness trainer who not only can cheer them up but also can give them impeccable suggestions related to health. To exemplify, I also encountered with my friend's problem where he every time join the gym but somehow lose the motivation and after a time he hire a gym trainer who is now setting the milestones for him to push him towards his goal.

On the contrary, there are some negative aspects of not choosing sports or classes is hard to get an interpersonal skills. To detail it further, sports or exercise classes is the amalgamation of distinctive community talent with the spirit of teamwork, where one can learn from their mistakes as well as they learn to work in a team such as through the teamwork sports like football and cricket.

Conclusively, the justifications like motivation and an expert advice can make the sector of society opt a personal trainer rather than games or classes. Irrespective of this, some negative development of not getting exposure like teamwork skills can act as a downside.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The reasons provided (motivation and expert guidance) are clear, but the discussion on the negative aspects is underdeveloped. The argument regarding 'interpersonal skills' is a good point, but it lacks sufficient depth and specific examples to fully support the claim that this is a negative trend. To improve, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal weight and more detailed supporting evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'To specify it in detail', and 'Conclusively', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the link between 'the sector of society' and the previous arguments is slightly disjointed. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the logical flow is maintained throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'multifaceted rationales', 'amalgamation', and 'impeccable'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'gain a tremendous impact' instead of 'had a tremendous impact', and 'streamline in the subsequent paragraphs' instead of 'outlined'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. Expanding your range of collocations and ensuring words are used in their correct grammatical context will help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'a large number of an individual's hire', 'he every time join the gym', 'some negative development'). There are also issues with verb tense consistency and preposition usage. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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