Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, everyone has hectic schedule, and they don't have much time to do exercise and playing sports, that's why in some nations, there are number of people who like to hire personal fitness trainer to keep themself fit. I will discuss the reasons behind it and also discuss if it is the positive or negative development in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, there are numerous reasons why individuals like to hire personal fitness trainer. First and foremost, most of the people have hectic schedule, so they don't have enough time to do exercise and playing games to keep themself fit. For example, nowadays prices for goods are skyrockets, so people need to do double shifts to fulfill their basic needs. Secondly, nowadays human nature is change they don't like to interact with others they prefer to be alone for peace of mind, so they like to hire someone who helps them fit rather than go out.
On the other hand, this development has both positive and negative impacts. On positive side, when people hire someone, it is helpful to save their time and make them feel free about worries what they need to do for keep themself fit, but on the negative side, when they go out, they make time for themself and when they hire someone then they don't have time for themself and it is also enhance the gap among individuals.
In conclusion, no doubt hiring a personal fitness trainer is a good way to keep themself fit, but doing exercise and plying outdoor games also plays pivotal role in humans' life, so hiring someone is best for someone when people don't have much time to do exercise, but they need to play sports and doing exercise to keep themself fit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding the 'change in human nature' is vague and lacks sufficient supporting detail. While the position is clear, the arguments in the body paragraphs are repetitive and lack depth. To improve, you should provide more specific examples or logical extensions for your points, ensuring that the discussion on whether the trend is positive or negative is more balanced and thoroughly explored.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'To begin with', 'First and foremost', 'Secondly'). There are also instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph, where the transition between the positive and negative aspects is abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'they' and 'them' which occasionally makes it difficult to track whether you are referring to the trainers or the individuals hiring them.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic phrases like 'keep themself fit' and 'hectic schedule'. Some word choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as 'prices for goods are skyrockets' (should be 'skyrocketing') and 'it is also enhance the gap' (should be 'it also enhances'). To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more varied vocabulary related to health, lifestyle, and social trends, and focus on correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors. Frequent issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everyone has hectic schedule'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'doing exercise and plying outdoor games'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences that lack proper conjunctions or full stops. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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