Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's fast-paced world, it is very hard to be healthy and fit with hectic schedule. In which many individuals prefer to hire a personal training coach compared to participating in sports activity or exercise classes in some countries. Valid reasons behind this trend along with its positive and negative sides are explained in the following paragraphs.

There are several valid causes that influence people to get a personal trainer. The principle one is, educated individuals like to get in-depth knowledge about the exercise plan to achieve their designated goals. This is because, a well educated person eager to know about proper techniques of performing exercise, muscle's anatomy, proper use of equipment and mechanism of the body before they perform any exercise. Consequently, they need a coach who can explain everything in detail. Moreover, Teenagers want to build muscles to show off in front of others which needs certain muscle exercise plan and only fitness trainers can guide them for body building. For example, Although playing sports and participation in exercise class help people to be fit, youngsters who want strength and muscle gain at the same time, need a specific exercise plan for upper and lower body to get muscle build up. Hence, they are encouraged to hire a personal trainer.

As this development has merits and demerits, I believe it is negative development. The chances of injury due to improper movement will certainly decrease due to right guidance of the trainer. Despite this, it can be very expensive and unaffordable especially for middle class families. This is because sometimes young individuals want to hire a trainer to only show rich and high profile which can influence others negatively. Moreover, the importance of sports would decline as people would spend more time in gyms rather than sports clubs. Thus, it clearly shows negative sides outweigh positive ones.

In conclusion, a group of people choose to hire a personal fitness trainer over playing sports and exercise classes to get proper training and deeper knowledge. Although this trend is beneficial for some as it leads to less chances of injury, it can be expensive for middle class families and negatively influence youth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the desire for specialized knowledge and the potential for injury prevention. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the point about teenagers wanting to 'show off' is a bit superficial and could have been expanded with more depth regarding the psychological or social implications. The position is clear throughout, though the supporting arguments could benefit from more nuanced analysis to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though there are occasional instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of muscle anatomy and the mention of teenagers feels a bit abrupt. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to a coherent structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'muscle's anatomy', 'designated goals', and 'improper movement'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'The principle one is' (should be 'principal') and 'show rich and high profile' (which is grammatically awkward). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would be needed to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a hectic schedule'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments ('In which many individuals...'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'a well educated person eager to know', which lacks a verb. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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