Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that nowadays people prefer to recruit personal fitness trainers instead of doing exercise in their leisure time. Although this happens due to several reasons, i think this brings both positive and negative trends.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why people don’t exercise in their free time so they prefer hire fitness trainers. First and the foremost, these days people are more busy in their work due to more competition that is why they prefer to more attention on their work despite doing exercise because they would not only achieve success but also earn huge amounts of money so they have no need to look after in front of others to complete their fundamental needs. In addition to it, most of people are more convince about their health that is why they hire fitness experts so they guide them about best fitness and nutritious foods so they become healthy.

On the other hand, i think this phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages. Firstly, if i write about positive sides, it brings employment for people that is why it helps to reduce the poverty because people can get job so they can earn huge amounts of money as a result they can live quality of life. In contrast, some people can not afford personal trainers related to health because of the less income that is why they feel stress. Moreover, when they don’t doing exercise, they suffer from fatal diseases such as obesity and become a lazy person.

In conclusion, while more hectic schedules and competitions are main root of this happening, I think this has both merits and demerits for individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and discussing whether it is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding why people choose trainers over exercise classes is slightly confusing, and the argument about 'earning huge amounts of money' as a reason for not exercising is not clearly linked to the prompt. The discussion on the positive and negative aspects is present but lacks depth; the point about employment is relevant, but the negative side regarding stress and obesity is somewhat disjointed. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, logical examples and ensure your arguments are fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'In addition to it,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'First and the foremost' or 'that is why' used repeatedly throughout the text. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making some sentences feel disjointed. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'huge amounts of money' and 'become healthy.' There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'more convince about their health' (should be 'more concerned about') and 'no need to look after in front of others.' To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that are appropriate for an academic context, and focus on using words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'they prefer hire' (should be 'prefer to hire'), 'most of people' (should be 'most people'), and 'when they don’t doing exercise' (should be 'when they do not exercise'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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