Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

soical media addvataisment regrarding explaining the procedure of become fit , showing negatively approach to follow playing sport anf excerise themseleves, feel demotivated after practicing for a long time than they hire personal trainer write the diet , motivate them , help them in workout sessions .

In this modern era, although playing sports and daily routine exercise are beneficial for having a health body, it has became a trend to hire a personal trainer by people. This essay will explain reasons first behind this approach than discuss why this is a negative development for society.

To begin with, social media is best platform for fitness trainers to demonstrate their skills through short videos because nowadays, all-aged individuals always active on mass media. Therefore, while watching these videos by people that how gym trainers have been maintaining their bodies for many years, they make a decision to hire a fitness coach for them. Moreover, People are busy in their hectic working days as well as after demotivating from plenty of efforts putting on playing sports, they hire a employee for them who can not only write the diet and motivate them but also help them in workout sessions.

This approach may negatively affect societies lives as they start relaying on other for their each and every decision related to their health. Also, sometimes, they prefer to take advice from their trainer rather than from doctors which leads to affect on their overall well-being. For example, some trainers suggest their client to take fat cuter pills that may have chances to relate on their body badly.

In conclusion, people should focus on their fitness to live a healthy live either play sports and do exerise or have a trainer but they should be tingk

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The explanation of social media influence is clear, but the discussion on the negative aspects is brief and lacks depth. The conclusion is incomplete, as the final sentence cuts off abruptly, which prevents a full summary of the argument. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough explanation and that the conclusion is fully formed to provide a sense of closure to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the opening paragraph is a fragmented list of ideas rather than a cohesive introduction. While some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Moreover' are used, they are sometimes applied in a way that feels repetitive or slightly unnatural. The abrupt ending of the essay significantly impacts the overall coherence, as the final thought remains unfinished, leaving the argument unresolved.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'fat cuter pills' (likely meaning 'fat burner') and 'relaying on other' (relying on others). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms to express complex ideas. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to health and fitness and proofread to ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it has became'), article usage ('a employee'), and sentence fragments, particularly in the introduction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence boundary control and basic grammatical accuracy will be essential for improvement.

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