Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this Contemporary era many people believe that personal fitness is better than playing sports or doing exercise while under my observation personal trainer is more convenient to people who are working in corporate sectors as they barely find time to play sports or do exercise while playing sports is as essential for your body and for the people who love to maintain fitness but does't want to expense much on personal trainer, sports is the best alternative option for them
On the one hand playing sports is a much needed to maintain our physical health but the people who is introvert or the one who has not many friends to play with they can opt for personal trainer but first prioritize to play and do some basic exercise like cardio, cycling, running, pushups and many more. My nephew who is 17 years old is going in cricket classes as he like to paly the sports whole day. He is expert in all areas whether it is batting, bowling or fielding while i asked him to go to gym he said it is better to play sports as it also sharpens our reflexes while only gym exercise would not.
On the other hand people who are working in corporate sector are bareky find time to play sports or do exercises alone. Although in few companies cricket tournaments are going to organize by founders itself that convey there employee to play and maintain your physical health. While in many companies it should not happen so people find personal trainer convinient as they can adjust their time accordingly and they find it peacefull rather thna playing with other people where it is not guaranted that each and every people have to perform.
To summarize the above content i believe to playing sports is better than personal trainer while trainer is convenient according to our time but to playing sports is perfect to maintain our physical health as it can sharpen our reflexes and we can also be fit physically by playing regularly sports.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The reasons provided (time constraints for corporate workers) are relevant, but the discussion on whether it is positive or negative is repetitive and lacks depth. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments, such as the anecdote about the nephew, are not fully integrated into a cohesive argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-explained point rather than repeating the same ideas about time and convenience.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive transitions. While cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'To summarize' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly. For instance, the transition 'While in many companies it should not happen so people find personal trainer convinient' is confusing. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs lacks the necessary sophistication to guide the reader smoothly. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a reliance on basic, repetitive language (e.g., 'playing sports', 'personal trainer', 'physical health'). Some word choices are inaccurate or non-idiomatic, such as 'does't want to expense much' (should be 'spend') and 'bareky find time' (spelling error). There is little evidence of less common lexical items or collocations. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more varied vocabulary related to fitness and lifestyle, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the people who is introvert'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'to playing sports'), and punctuation errors. The sentence structure is often fragmented or run-on, which affects the clarity of the message. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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