Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, Mostly citizens are going with an individual only for their bodies and well- being instead of participating in physical activities and playing. In my opinion, this is a very beneficial for individuals that have their own trainers as it lets them know about their bodies very properly.

To commence with, Having a personal trainer by your side who knows about human bodies is very beneficial. That person would know what affects a body and how to cure a problem. It is better than doing something unknowingly and cause major injuries. moreover, Personal trainers provide correct and and effective feedbacks and they personally properly work for an individual. for example my friend who has been taking training and gaining knowledge from his assistant is very healthy while keeping his health priority.

Secondly, there are many drawbacks of doing bodily moment by ourselves. Sometimes we do not know what is right and wrong and doing something weird can sabotages a whole system. For instance, I vividly remember the time my brother doing his exercise by himself and one day he suddenly lost his balance and fall very hard on an equipment that causes a major bruise on his head and that injury still causes him a lot of problems

Eventhough hiring a personal trainer can be expensive, having a person besides you who motivates you will help you become tenacious and endless. From my perspective, spending some grand would be far more beneficial than sabotaging our bodies and leaves a longtime detrimental effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefit of injury prevention and motivation, the arguments lack depth and specific, real-world examples. The example regarding your friend is vague, and the anecdote about your brother is anecdotal rather than analytical. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the societal implications of this trend, such as the shift from community-based sports to individualistic fitness, and provide more robust reasoning for your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Secondly', and 'Eventhough'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing. For instance, the transition between the benefits of trainers and the drawbacks of exercising alone could be smoother. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'doing something weird can sabotages a whole system', where the connection to the previous sentence is weak.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of unnatural word choices or collocations, such as 'Mostly citizens', 'doing bodily moment', and 'spending some grand'. The use of 'tenacious and endless' to describe a person is also inaccurate. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'detrimental effect', the overall range is limited, and the errors in word choice occasionally make the intended meaning slightly unclear. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('doing something weird can sabotages'), incorrect verb tenses ('my brother doing his exercise'), and punctuation errors. Furthermore, there are awkward phrasings like 'a very beneficial for individuals' and 'fall very hard on an equipment'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb and tense consistency is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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