Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary world, there are many individuals who prefer to hire personal fitness trainers instead of playing sports or joining exercise classes. There are numerous factors to support this statement and this is positive development. Reasons to support this statement are discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.

Fitness is the key principle to live healthy and smooth life. There are many reasons why people prefer to hire personal trainers. First and the foremost, People have limited time to do exercise due to the hectic schedule. Instead of playing sports or doing exercise in group they want to work on the specific part of the body which needs more improvement in comparison to working on other body parts. Apart from this, they do not want to compare themselves with others as often people fell demotivated when they are not able to do any exercise and people start comparing with others. Therefore, they prefer to higher personal trainer.

This is positive development as it gives employment to many people along with improving the lifestyle of those people who were not able to join the gym due to the public fear in mind. For example: one of my friend join the gym 2 months ago but due to her body structure she was not able to do many exercises in the group and often people started laughing but recently she hired a personal trainer and told her all the things which happen in the past and ask for the solution. As a consequence she is able to meet her desire of getting healthy body by doing the alternative exercises.

To Conclude, personal trainers are the best motivation to all the individuals who loose their hope of joining gym again and given the healthy lives to many people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention time constraints and body image, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with deeper analysis. For instance, the discussion on 'public fear' is a good point, but the example provided is a bit anecdotal and could be more effectively linked to the broader societal implications of the trend. Overall, the response covers the requirements but lacks the depth of analysis expected at higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and the foremost', 'Apart from this', and 'As a consequence'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural. The transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the shift from time constraints to body image in the second paragraph feels a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, which occasionally affects the flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'hectic schedule' and 'personal fitness trainers'. However, there are some word choice errors, such as 'higher' instead of 'hire' and 'loose' instead of 'lose'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a lack of more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions that would elevate the response. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct spelling of common words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('join the gym'), subject-verb agreement issues ('one of my friend join'), and awkward phrasing ('the key principle to live healthy and smooth life'). Punctuation is also inconsistent in places. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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