Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is true fact that an increasing number of individuals prefers to hire a personal trainer instead of joining exercise classes or playing other sports. This essay will discuss some factors which are responsible for this trend and in my opinion, this aspect has more drawbacks than benefits.

On the one hand, there are some reasons associated with hiring a personal fitness trainer. One of the main factors is that it is really convenient method to stay fit. In explanation, it is really complicated to take out some time off from busy schedules and adjust the timings with others. For example, if a person have to set the timings with only a personal trainer, it is really easier to adjust with him than adjusting with others in playing sports. Another reason is that an individual trainer can also help people to motivate to do activities regularly.

On the other hand, I largely agree that hiring a personal trainer is a negative phenomenon. Firstly, nowadays it is really expensive to hire a personal individual for fitness and in comparison, participating in playing sports or exercise classes is cheaper. Secondly, it would be dull or boring with the passage of time if one does activities alone. Furthermore, people can make friends which can help them to enjoy while doing exercises with others. In addition, people have to deal with others while doing group activities which can help them to enhance their social and communication skills.

In conclusion, although hiring an individual person for staying fit has some benefits, I largely believe that it is more advantageous to participate in sports and exercise classes as these methods are cheaper, more interesting. In addition, people can also make friends and can improve their social and communication skills while doing activities with others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing reasons for the trend and a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. The position is consistent throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding convenience could be more deeply explored with more specific examples beyond just scheduling. While the arguments are relevant, they remain at a somewhat superficial level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons for the trend from the evaluation of its impact. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Firstly', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there is occasional repetition of phrases like 'doing activities' and 'doing exercises'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to avoid a repetitive structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is some attempt to use topic-specific language, such as 'personal fitness trainer' and 'busy schedules'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic descriptors like 'really' and 'dull or boring'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'hire a personal individual' instead of 'hire a personal trainer'. To improve, you should focus on using more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary to convey your points with more sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'It is true fact' should be 'It is a true fact', and 'if a person have to' should be 'if a person has to'. Additionally, there are minor errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy in basic grammar would significantly improve your performance.

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