Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, hiring a personal trainer is very common instead of participating in a game or enroll for exercise classes. The main reason behind it is busy life style. This is a positive development because it provides various benefits to our health. This essay will shed light on reasons and views with details and relevant examples.

To begin with, even human is a social animal. Despite that; People are isolated because of their busy daily routine. Due to limited time, they prefer to utilize that time with proper workout, which is essential for their bodies rather than doing less useful activities, therefore; they hire a personal coach. For example, a research shows that the people, who have a personal coach are more active and have a longer life span.

Moreover, everyone have a different kind of jobs. As some required more physical work where as other have more mental pressure. So that there bodies need unique work out which is only possible with a personal trainer. Even its hard to gather all the people to play a sport on same time.

On the other hand, it reduces social circle and playing a sport is a reason to meetup for them.This not noly motivaties us to become a team player but also buildup other qualities like a leadership and companianship. hence it have its own limitation too

To conclustion, it have more benefits than drawbacks, so this is definetly a positive devlopment which shape our bodies and provious a healthy life stye with limition of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for hiring personal trainers (busy lifestyles, individual needs) and provides a clear position that it is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'different kinds of jobs' is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples. The conclusion is brief and repeats points already made. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your supporting arguments with more detailed explanations or concrete examples to ensure the response feels fully developed rather than just outlined.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, the use of punctuation is often incorrect, particularly with semicolons (e.g., 'Despite that; People' and 'activities, therefore; they'). These errors make the flow feel mechanical and occasionally confusing. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that punctuation supports the structure of your sentences rather than interrupting them will significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'life span', 'physical work', and 'mental pressure'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'not noly', 'motivaties', 'conclustion', 'definetly', 'devlopment', and 'provious'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading your work for common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items to demonstrate more precision in your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('everyone have', 'it have its own limitation'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('even human is a social animal'). Additionally, the misuse of semicolons and commas disrupts the grammatical flow. While you attempt complex structures, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and basic sentence construction will help you achieve greater accuracy.

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