Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

With the more advance technologies introduced in modern lifestyle, people have become enslaved of this comfort and convenience. They prefer to stay inside the home, in their comfort zone as they have all faciltiies available under one roof. The pandemic in 2020 has taught us to stay indoors. On the other hand, with the hybrid mode of working, people have started recognising the need of fitness and health and therefore, they have now started hiring the personal trainers who can come home or visit them virtually to help them exercise at the ease of their home and with full focus on themselves only.

Going to gym has started becoming a cumbersome job as you will see a number of people visiting gym in the morning hours that makes a fitness centre crowded during morning hours. With limited machinery in the fitness centre, people wait for their turn to do exercise and further resulting in frustration as they find it time consuming with lot of effort, waitlist and lesser results. On contrary, with the help of personal trainer, even the focussed workout of 30-45 minutes will yield meaningful results.

The second aspect of this development is the better opportunities in the health and fitness sector. Now a days, more and more people would like to become fitness coach because this is not just a job but an opportunity to earn extra for the coaches utilising their skills. This has resulted in adding to emplyment opportunities for experienced youth. Above all, people are more inclined towards their health and fitness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the evaluation is somewhat underdeveloped. While you mention that personal training yields 'meaningful results' and creates 'employment opportunities,' you do not explicitly state your overall position on whether this trend is positive or negative. The ideas are relevant, but the conclusion is missing, which prevents a more balanced and comprehensive discussion. To improve, ensure you clearly state your stance in the introduction and provide a more nuanced conclusion that synthesizes your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand,' 'On contrary,' and 'The second aspect.' However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'On contrary' (should be 'On the contrary'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the lack of a concluding paragraph makes the essay feel unfinished. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a strong summary at the end would significantly enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cumbersome,' 'virtual,' and 'inclined.' However, there are several spelling errors ('faciltiies,' 'emplyment') and some awkward collocations, such as 'enslaved of this comfort' (should be 'enslaved by') and 'more advance technologies' (should be 'more advanced'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'people have become enslaved of this comfort' and 'hiring the personal trainers' (the article 'the' is unnecessary here). Additionally, 'Now a days' should be written as 'Nowadays.' While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents a higher score. To improve, work on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles. Incorporating more varied complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will also help raise your score.

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