Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It has been noticed that in many nations, the habits of individuals related to fitness have been changed drastically. Instead of playing sports and engaging in physical activities, people prefers to hire a certified personal trainer. I observe this as a positive trend for society because of multiple reasons.
To commence with, the majority of people who are hiring fitness coaches either they lack fitness knowledge or they have a particular time-based fitness goal. Certified trainers are often popular for their diverse knowledge in physical fitness such as in exercises and diet plans. People who have demanding schedule or limited mobility usually hire a personal trainers for their convenience. For instance, if we have any bone injury, it is often recomended by doctors to hire a professional physio therapist to escalate the mobility and recovery of an injured joint or bone. Morover, sometimes peple need certain physical transformation and this can be either personal or professional. Individuals often wants to reduce or gain wait for their special occassions such as wedding. Similarly, some professionals such as zctors or models often need to cut weight or build muscles as per their role or shoot requirements.
However, this is a positive shift for the society, since it provide employment opportunities to the population.In the competetive world, such opportunities can help the young generation to build their career. Along with, it also help people to get professional guidance to meet their goals. Similarly, a personal fitness trainer can help a senior citizens or a busy individual to stay active and fit convemtiently, from the comfort of their home. If individuals have extra time, especiallly the young generation, they should involve themselve in playing sports because with fitness it also helps them to build essential life skills such as teamwork and harmony.
To sum up, hiring a fitness expert can bring clarity and efficiency in acheiving a personal health goal. This trend also bring career opportunities for many individuals. Nevertheless, if people have time and energy, they should try to spend it in the playground while playing or exercising.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have addressed all parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for the rise of personal trainers and providing a clear position on whether this is a positive or negative development. Your ideas are relevant, such as the convenience for those with injuries or specific goals, and the economic benefits of the profession. However, some points could be more deeply extended. For instance, the discussion on 'positive shift' for society could have been balanced more effectively with the potential downsides of losing the social aspects of team sports. Overall, the response is well-structured and directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'For instance', and 'Nevertheless' to guide the reader. However, there are some instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or the referencing is a bit repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons from the evaluation of the trend. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between ideas within paragraphs is smoother and that the use of cohesive devices feels more natural rather than formulaic.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demanding schedule', 'physical transformation', and 'competitive world'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'recomended', 'Morover', 'peple', 'zctors', 'convemtiently', and 'acheiving'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the frequency of these slips suggests a need for more careful proofreading. Improving spelling accuracy and refining word choice will significantly enhance your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occur throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('people prefers', 'individuals often wants', 'it provide', 'it also help') and article usage errors. While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are punctuated correctly. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures will help you move into a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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