Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is a fact that in many countries, people are switching from sports and exercise classes to personal fitness training. There are many reasons for such situation and also few visible influences too. Both the aspects are explained in ensuring paragraphs.
Discussing the reasons, the most common one is the validations required on every set of exercises they perform. This is because they are worried about getting injured permanently by performing them incorrectly. The other cause is everyone is chasing well shaped muscular body. By this I mean that, everybody wants to look similar to an action hero. Furthermore, such changes are only possible when they opt for personal training, where they are constantly monitored on each aspects which includes workouts along with schedule as well as diet plan.
The mentioned causes have some impacts too. The foremost effect is seen on friend circle, in everyday busy life people hardly get chance to play sports together. The other repercussion is following online trends on social media, where they like being in a competition of who builds the best muscles and how fast. Such mindset forces them to subscribing such expensive fitness programs while leaving the fun involved in other group activities. Moreover, social media influence plays an important role in switching people's idea to do something in life.
Thus, to conclude the topic, it can be finally commented that everybody should not chase for perfect body which requires constant validations which is a wrong influence. Instead, my suggestion would be to practice any sports or course where physical fitness is gained along with mental awareness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the desire for safety and the influence of social media, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The position is clear in the conclusion, but the analysis of the 'positive or negative' aspect is slightly underdeveloped, as you focus more on the negative social implications rather than exploring potential benefits like professional guidance or health outcomes. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'The foremost effect,' and 'Thus, to conclude.' However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'Both the aspects are explained in ensuring paragraphs,' which contains a minor error. The flow between sentences is generally functional, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated to better link the arguments within and between paragraphs. Overall, the structure is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'repercussion,' 'constantly monitored,' and 'mental awareness.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that slightly hinder precision. For example, 'validations required on every set of exercises' is not a standard collocation, and 'subscribing such expensive fitness programs' should be 'subscribing to.' Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'chasing well shaped muscular body.' Expanding your range to include more precise academic collocations would help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'everyone is chasing well shaped muscular body' (missing articles), 'on each aspects' (number agreement), and 'everybody should not chase for perfect body' (preposition/article usage). These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on improving your control over articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional usage, while also aiming for more error-free complex sentence structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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