Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some countries, there is an upward trend in the number of people who prefer to hire a personal fitness trainer rather than participating in sports or doing exercise classes. This is as a result of several factors such as rapid growth and distraction-free training achieved by individuals who hire private instructors for their physical fitness training. I think this is a positive development because it illustrates the growing interest of people in physical health and wellness.

First and foremost, relevant results such as rapid growth and daily seamless training sessions are part of the major reasons why several individuals prefer hiring private fitness trainer. When people engage in regular personal drills with instructors who train them on targeted exercises such as 200 push-ups per day, 50 squatting and a host of many other related activities, they tend to see results everyday which leads to regular growth. Compared to random exercise classes or sports where you do not have targeted activities to boost your physical growth, individuals only get trained on team-work and victory oriented trainings in order to succeed as a team. Moreover, people also enjoy distraction-free training sessions from private trainers due to absence of other individuals. For instance, exceptional body builders and physically fit individuals such as macho usually achieve their desired fitness structure through personal gym instructors and trainers. Thus, outcomes like rapid development and maximum focus achieved during drills contributes greatly to the reason people prefer private fitness trainer than participating in exercise classes.

Furthermore, this upward trend in the number of individuals who prefer private training sessions has illustrated their growing interest in physical health and wellness which is a positive development. This indicates the relevance of physical appearance and development to the people as well as the satisfaction they derive from it, which could be confidence and attraction. In most cases, people who have good body structure tend to command respect and attraction in public spaces which also compliments their presence and influence.

In conclusion, individuals prefer hiring private fitness trainers due to the results derived from it like growth and focus. I think this is a good development because it shows the level of dedication and interest rising in people when it comes to body fitness.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, such as the focus on personalized results and distraction-free environments. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the discussion of 'rapid growth' is mentioned multiple times without significant expansion. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples or explore the potential downsides of this trend to create a more balanced and sophisticated argument. The position is consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons from the evaluation of the trend. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the use of 'it' in the second paragraph, which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'targeted exercises', and 'physical health and wellness'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or imprecise word choices, such as 'macho' to describe bodybuilders, which is informal and contextually inappropriate. Additionally, 'victory oriented trainings' is not a standard collocation. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on more natural collocations will improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'prefer private fitness trainer' (missing article), '50 squatting' (should be 'squats'), and 'compliments their presence' (should be 'complements'). Subject-verb agreement is occasionally inconsistent, such as 'outcomes... contributes'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring grammatical accuracy in basic forms will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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