Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Weather the online learning has become increasingly more popular and replacing the old school system, while some people believes that, face to face learning will also play a vital role in learning. Although, the traditional learning process has number of benefits, I believe the digital learning benefits overlap the traditional teaching methods. I will discuss both views in my next paragraph .
On the one hand, online education has serval advantages . Firstly, it’s very convenient for everyone at anywhere. This is especially useful for people who work or live far away from the education centre. Moreover, e- learning provides number of materials such as videos, recorded lectures and e- books. For example, several learning centres saved their paper cost due to the virtual learning system, which consequently reduced the waste pollution.
On the other hand, supports of the traditional classroom education argue that has more advantages than online learning. First and foremost, students Can commune directly with the teachers and classmates, which can improve their communication skills and their teamwork skills. In addition, tutors can vividly identify students who have a difficulty in learning and provide immediate support or guidance. For instance, …
In my opinion, although the benefits of face to face learning cannot be overlooked, internet based learning should promoting because it’s more convenient and saved paper.
In conclusion, the traditional classroom education provides direct communication but the benefits of online learning education overlap the old education system. Therefore, in my point of view, digital learning should be a priority for all students in this time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for reasons why people hire personal fitness trainers instead of playing sports and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the essay discusses online learning versus traditional classroom education. Because the response fails to address the task question entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in relation to the prompt provided. Even if the content were relevant, the ideas are under-developed and the position is inconsistent. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your arguments directly answer the specific question asked rather than using a pre-memorized template or discussing a different topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion'. However, the logical progression is severely hampered by the fact that the content does not relate to the prompt. There are instances of mechanical referencing, such as 'I will discuss both views in my next paragraph', which is a generic phrase that does not fit the flow of the essay. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of a clear, relevant argument makes the overall structure difficult to follow. To improve, focus on linking your ideas to the specific topic and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, relevant topic sentence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'advantages', 'benefits', and 'convenient' repeatedly. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'supports of the traditional classroom' (should be 'supporters') and 'waste pollution' (which is not a standard collocation). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, try to learn topic-specific vocabulary and use synonyms to avoid repetition. Focus on using words in their correct context and pay attention to common collocations to sound more natural and precise in your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Weather the online learning has become' (incorrect use of 'Weather' instead of 'Whether'), 'some people believes' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'should promoting' (incorrect verb form). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with some attempts at complex sentences that are often grammatically flawed. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas used throughout. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and sentence structure. Proofreading your work for these common errors before finishing is essential for higher band scores.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.