Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nations, personal fitness trainers hire every day because of the demand of people and they do not prefer to play games and join yoga or other excercise classes. This eassy will discuss the reasons along with my opinion in upcoming paragraghs.

To commence with, why people hire their own fitness instructor. In this contemporary era, everyone has hectic schedule. They do not have time to wait for instructors in gyms because of that they like to have own trainer who assists them time to time. Moreover, personal trainer would concentrate more on person if they have job to provide guidance to only person at a time which is crucial for both trainer and trainee. As a results, it saves the people's time as well as get proper guidance at their convenient place.

In this era, competition is at peak in every field which makes hard to influence for sports. People who are working long hours in a office in front of screen, they only prefer to have a relaxing environment. Furthermore, the stress of both physical and mental makes people tired. Apart from that, passionate people for games, only likes to participates in sports and they can also earn money from it.

In conclusion, this is not a negative development, everyone has own field field so they like do get physical fitness according to that. It does not shows that value of sports is reduced. There is still have people who take it as a profession.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and providing an opinion on the development. However, the development of ideas is limited. The reasons provided—hectic schedules and the need for individual attention—are relevant but remain somewhat superficial. Furthermore, the essay falls just short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the depth of the argument. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure your position is more clearly articulated throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'As a results' and 'In this era'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression within paragraphs is hindered by awkward phrasing. For instance, the second paragraph jumps between the benefits of personal trainers and the nature of office work without a smooth connection. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a more fluent flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'personal fitness trainers hire every day' (which suggests the trainers are being hired by someone else, rather than being employed) and 'influence for sports'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise terminology related to health and fitness, and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate rather than just functional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'everyone has hectic schedule' (missing article), 'stress of both physical and mental makes people tired' (incorrect noun usage), and 'There is still have people' (incorrect verb construction). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.

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