Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable truth that the significant number of people in many nations have been hiring a personal gym coach instead of playing different sports or doing yoga. There are a several reasons behind this. Personally, I believe that it is a positive development and the reasons of the same will be explained in further paragraphs.

To commence with, the most obvious reason to hire personal fitness coach is that individuals have more expectations about fitness and other services from professionals. This is to say that they provide flexible schedule from people's hectic schedule. Due to this, despite having work or another tasks in a day, not only proper training will be gained, but also healthy diet can be grabbed anytime. Moreover, professional trainers who always motivate and guide people to reach their goal. For Instance, wealthy human beings always hire personal gym coach to get more benefits according to their flexibility, reliability and their physically disability.

In addition to that, Unlike playing sports or join yoga classes, fitness instructor help them to fulfil their goal according their strength and weakness. This means that they know which gym equipments and nutritional diets are beneficial for their health and wellness. However, private trainer is expensive, and it may not be affordable for everyone. Consequently, having some drawbacks of hiring fitness coach, there are many advantages to get more appropriate training with them.

To sum up, although personal fitness tutor has some disadvantages, the considerable numbers of people get more benefits about their diet and wellness just because of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention flexibility and personalized guidance, the explanations are brief and lack depth. For instance, the example regarding 'wealthy human beings' is vague and does not effectively illustrate the broader social trend. To improve, ensure that each reason is fully supported with a concrete explanation or a more detailed example. Your position is clear throughout, but the overall argument would benefit from more sophisticated analysis of the implications of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to that' to link your points. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the internal cohesion within sentences is occasionally weak, such as in the phrase 'Consequently, having some drawbacks of hiring fitness coach, there are many advantages'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used naturally will help elevate your score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'undeniable truth', 'flexibility', and 'nutritional diets'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'grabbed anytime' instead of 'accessed' or 'available', and 'wealthy human beings' which sounds unnatural. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'physically disability' instead of 'physical disability'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive or overly simplistic phrasing. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific academic vocabulary would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'There are a several reasons' (article error) and 'fitness instructor help them' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in article usage and preposition choice throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move toward a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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