Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most countries, people are prefer to hire personal trainer rather than doing outdoor activities such as playing sports, participate in the fitness session. It has both positive as well as negative effect on the community, which i will discuss in the below paragraphs.

In the positive way, people hire a fitness trainer to maintain their physical health because trainer gives direction according to people's physique. For example, if a skinny person join the gym, he/she does not know about the diet plan for gaining a weight like proportion ratio of protein, fiber and carbohydrates. Moreover, personal trainer advice how to use the machines during exercise, so body do not get any injury during workout. Trainer also help people to change a lifestyle without taking a harmful steroids.

Even in this social media era, people attractive through the social media photos because they follow the celebrities, and think it is a status symbol to hire a fitness trainer.

On the other side, it has a negative impact on the people, some people think that it is expensive to afford a personal trainer and they prefer to doing a light exercise. In additionally, most of the people prefer to workout in the open environment because they think they can make a bond with the local teams while they think in the gym it is waste of money as well as time. They believe in physical strength without the help of any machines or trainer.

In conclusion, in the modern busy schedule people are not aware about the basic exercise beside they are doing in the wrong way, they should hire a personal trainer because it is a good opportunity for the unemployment. In this online world, people earn a lot of money through the media even that it is a good option for the youngster to prefer not addicted any type drugs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about social media is introduced but not clearly linked to the 'positive or negative' discussion. The conclusion introduces new, slightly irrelevant ideas about unemployment and drug addiction, which are not well-integrated into the main argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear reason and directly links it to your overall stance on whether this trend is beneficial or detrimental.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In the positive way' and 'In additionally'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas within paragraphs is occasionally abrupt. The conclusion feels disconnected from the preceding arguments, as it introduces new topics rather than summarizing the main points discussed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would help the flow of the essay significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'people are prefer to hire', 'gain a weight', and 'people attractive through the social media'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the student relies on basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., 'attracted' vs 'attractive') are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people are prefer'), missing articles ('hire a personal trainer'), and incorrect preposition usage. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency would be highly beneficial.

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