Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The importance of fitness which was always debatable has now become more controversial with majority of people claiming that hiring a personal fitness trainer is more beneficial as compared to playing outdoor sports and doing exercise classes while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion is a positive development. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring positive impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analysing the statement and explaining further, the first and the foremost reason behind is that individuals have hectic sehcdual in modern era, They are very busy in daily works due to time shortage they are prefer too hire personal trainer rather than going for outdoor sports as well as exercise classes. For instance: people who worked in office from morning to evening and they are doing sitting job, they are hiring personal trainer who give them feedback as well as diet plan and also help them in exercise which are beneficial to control obeysity. Thus, personal trainer is good choice for busy individuals.

Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reason steams from the fact is that lack of knowledge about fitness as well as exercise which is good for health. For example: some people do not have information about exercise which is good for fitness as well as weight loss, how to do it also what kind of diet they are followed. Hence, sometime not enough knowledge have dangerous for health, so people choose best way to keep fit and healthy to themself, take lesson by trainers.

To conclusion, Although people are hiring a personal fitness trainer but playing sports or doing exercise classes are more helpful and beneficial for health as well as mind relaxation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the trend and an opinion on whether it is positive or negative. However, the development is inconsistent. While you provide reasons such as 'hectic schedules' and 'lack of knowledge', the explanation is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. Furthermore, the conclusion contradicts your introduction; you state in the introduction that you believe it is a positive development, but the conclusion suggests that sports and classes are more beneficial, which confuses your overall position. To improve, ensure your conclusion aligns with your thesis and provide more specific, well-developed examples to support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'For instance' and 'Probing ahead', the connection between sentences is often mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the busy lifestyle and the specific role of the trainer is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that builds logically toward your final argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good' and 'beneficial' repeatedly. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'sehcdual' (schedule), 'obeysity' (obesity), and 'steams from' (stems from). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they demonstrate a limited control over more sophisticated lexical items. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific collocations related to health and fitness would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('people who worked in office... they are hiring'), incorrect verb forms ('diet they are followed'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are run-on or fragmented, which affects readability. While you attempt complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb tense consistency before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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