Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the past few decades, people tend to hire a personnel fitness trainer rather than doing an exercise by themselves. This has attracted considerable attention worldwide. Opinions differ on this matter; I believe that playing a sport or doing an exercise would be a better option than hiring a personal fitness trainer. This essay will discuss the possible reason behind this statement before reaching the conclusion.

One of the main reasons is that it reduces the financial stress of an individual. As they are involved in various sport activities like cricket, football, basketball, and many more, they don't require any special training. If they do these activities continuously, then one day, they will be the best version of their specific sport. They will be played for some national or international tournaments as well. For instance, one of my friends achieved a gold medal in a national cricket tournament. He did not take any personal training from the trainer. They did not spend any more money to get the training.

The second most reason is that the people can do an exercise at anytime. Moreover, they can play a game with their family members. For example, I and my family generally play a sport at any time on weekends. It also enhances the better bonding between the family members. While, if they are hiring a personal fitness trainer, they would not be able to spend the qualitative time with their family. To avoid these types of uncertainities, they should play games by themselves with their family.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that people have to play games by themselves, rather than hiring a personal fitness trainer. Governments and some private organizations should implement policies that control such types of activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and expressing a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument that hiring a trainer is a financial burden is a valid point, but the leap to suggesting that people who play sports without trainers will become professional athletes is an over-generalisation. Furthermore, the response fails to address the 'reasons' for the trend in a balanced way; it focuses almost exclusively on why people should avoid trainers rather than explaining why the trend of hiring them is actually occurring in the first place. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and logical nuance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a basic logical progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'The second most reason is that' and 'To avoid these types of uncertainities'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly the use of 'they' in the second paragraph, which shifts between referring to individuals, sports players, and trainers, creating confusion. While the paragraphing is functional, the transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'personnel fitness trainer' (should be 'personal'), 'qualitative time' (should be 'quality time'), and 'uncertainities' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, relying on basic structures to convey ideas. To improve, you should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding word-choice errors that occasionally hinder the clarity of your points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the writing. Examples include 'people tend to hire' (should be 'have tended' or 'are tending'), 'doing an exercise' (should be 'exercising'), and 'They will be played for some national' (should be 'They will play in'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band score.

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