Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the present era, health and fitness have become a major part of every person's life. Some people in a nation prefer to attend yoga classes or outdoor activities, while others like to hire a personal trainer. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind this, along with its negative aspects, such as neglecting socialization and the expensive nature of fitness.

To begin with, there are several reasons why people place importance on working with a personal fitness coach. The main reason is convenience. This means that a sedentary lifestyle does not allow people to take special time for their own care. In other words, people do exercise classes at home because they can manage their other work. For example, people can save time by not going to a fitness center and utilize this time for other household chores. Furthermore, some people are introverted by nature. So, they feel uncomfortable visiting any physical fitness center.

This is a negative development. There are various reasons why people should go to gyms instead of doing indoor exercises. The first reason is that they can become more confident and socialize. While going to a fitness center and playing sports, they can not only become fit and healthy but also become mentally strong. With this, they can meet a new group of people, so they can create a new social circle, which will help them to become more extroverted in life. Apart from this, it is a less expensive and more enjoyable way to stay healthy. For instance, if a person goes outside to play sports with friends and a team, then definitely achieve the goal of fitness because outdoor activities help people clear their minds in fresh air. As a result, they can become physically and mentally fit quickly.

In conclusion, playing sports and going to a fitness center have a lot of benefits and people can enjoy their free time in a better way

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and providing a clear stance on whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention 'convenience' and 'introversion' as reasons, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. Additionally, your conclusion is abrupt and fails to summarize the main points or restate your position effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a fully developed argument that directly links back to the prompt's core questions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'This is a negative development' at the start of the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sedentary lifestyle,' 'introverted,' and 'social circle' appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and lacks the precision or sophistication required for higher bands. There are instances where word choice could be more natural, such as 'take special time for their own care' instead of 'prioritize their health.' To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and less common lexical items to convey your ideas with greater nuance and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. While most of your sentences are clear, there are some grammatical slips, such as 'then definitely achieve the goal' (missing subject 'they') and 'people do exercise classes' (which sounds slightly unnatural). Punctuation is generally accurate, but some sentences could be refined for better flow. To achieve a higher score, focus on increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and ensuring that subject-verb agreement and article usage are consistently correct throughout the essay.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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