Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Most of the people think when go gym and any fitness center you will increase your physical fitness instead of doing nothing at fitness center also many people invest their lot of money on buying memberships and gym products rather than playing sports or doing some exercise classes.
I will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of this statement in upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost are the people have lots of money to spend their health to stay fit and healthy but Today's lifestyle can't allow that like busy schedule, lot of stress, unhealthy food and many personal reason is allowed to stay fit so the people have less knowledge for food and diet. Secondly people are not performed any kind physical work at there home instead they join gym and invest money on membership which is
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 136 words. This significantly impacts the development of the response. While the prompt asks for reasons and an opinion on whether the trend is positive or negative, the essay is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence. The ideas presented, such as busy schedules and lack of dietary knowledge, are relevant but remain underdeveloped due to the lack of length. The position is not clearly established or sustained throughout the text. To improve, you must ensure you address all parts of the prompt and provide sufficient supporting evidence and examples to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows some attempt at organization with a basic introduction and the start of body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and sometimes inaccurate way, such as 'First and foremost are the people' and 'Secondly people are not performed'. The paragraphing is insufficient, and the abrupt ending makes it impossible to judge the overall coherence of the argument. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'increase your physical fitness' and 'invest their lot of money' are basic and show limited control over collocation. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'many personal reason is allowed to stay fit', which makes the meaning unclear. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic with any precision. To improve, try to learn topic-specific collocations related to health and fitness, such as 'sedentary lifestyle', 'professional guidance', or 'tailored exercise regimen', and practice using them in full sentences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, such as 'Most of the people think when go gym' and 'people are not performed any kind physical work'. These errors often impede the reader's understanding. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the use of articles, prepositions, and correct verb tenses, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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