Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It is irrefutable that hiring personal trainers is becoming increasingly common. While there are various causes behind this phenomenon such as convenience and introvert nature of new generation, I believe that it is a negative development because of reducing self-reliance and social connections.
There are several reason why this is happening. The major one is that it is easy to stay consistent by hiring a personal fitness trainer. As these professionals will generate the personalized plans for their clients, it promotes discipline among people and they have to follow the guidance properly. For example, gym trainers not only provide guidance about exercise and diet but also keeps the record of a person's progress and help them in achieving their fitness goals. Moreover, due to the reserved nature of young people these days, they avoid attending exercise classes or sports. This is because, they find it embarrasing about changing their body shape due to the fear of judgements. Consequently, individuals find it highly convenient to hire a mentor as they can still stay fit without performing group activities.
However, I consider that it has many negative impacts on people's overall personality. The most compelling reasing behind this is that trainees become completely dependent on the fitness experts. They avoid making their own decisions about their health which reduces their confidence. For example, when obese people follow paid weight-loss plans, they become reliant on their instructors for every minor change. Furthermore, since sports and exercise classes are becoming less common, it leads to more isolation. If people perform outdoor activities in groups, it would promote healthier environment as everybody would feel motivated while looking at other person's progess. In contrast, working out alone increases loneliness and anxiety. As a result, individuals can achieve their fitness goals while enjoying social activities.
In conclusion, although hiring personal trainers makes it easier to stay healthy, it may hinder a person's growth by affecting the decision-making skills and reducing interpersonal interactions. Therefore, it is recommended that physical activities should be promoted more than professional training sessions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing clear reasons for the trend and a distinct opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. Your position is consistent throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the discussion on the psychological impact of personal training versus the social benefits of group activities. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are slightly more specific; for instance, instead of 'obese people', you could discuss the broader societal implications of reliance on external motivation. Overall, the response is well-structured and directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'consequently', 'however', and 'in contrast', which help the reader follow your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. One minor area for improvement is the transition between the reasons for the trend and the evaluation of its impact; ensuring these sections flow more seamlessly would enhance the overall coherence. The referencing is generally clear, and the progression of ideas is logical.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'irrefutable', 'phenomenon', and 'interpersonal interactions' show an awareness of academic style. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'introvert nature of new generation' (should be 'the introverted nature of the younger generation') and 'compelling reasing' (a spelling error). To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the consistent flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'these professionals will generate the personalized plans' (should be 'generate personalized plans'), 'keeps the record' (should be 'keep records'), and 'looking at other person's progess' (should be 'others' progress'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move toward a band 7.0 or higher.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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