Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern times, the trend of having a professional fitness trainer over indulging in traditional sports and conventional exercise classes has intensified. I believe that this is a significantly positive development. This essay will discuss both views with relevant examples.

The health of a person is the most important determinant of his quality of life. It has been demonstrated by the modern medical science that a sound mind is in a sound body. Therefore, a number of people are influenced by the idea of attaining and maintaining optimum physical fitness. In pursuit of physical endurance, an increasing number of individuals have been hiring personal trainers. As personal trainer provides customized training schedules, targeted diet charts and continuous oversight of comprehensive wellbeing and development of strength and bodybuilding, consequently their training plans bring more faster results than conventional sports. Although having a personal fitness trainer is expensive, yet people still invest in their health and the expenditure is worthwhile.

On the other hand, coaching classes and conventional sports including swimming, basketball, gymnastics and jogging etc. offer an excellent opportunity for development of endurance and stamina resulting directly in improved cardiovascular health and overall wellbeing of an individual at lesser costs than personal coaching.However, the health conscious individuals adapt these exercises as advised by their personal coach for gaining maximum fitness and bodybuilding goals.

In conclusion, investment in physical fitness and personal training by professionals bring more visible and meaningful results which result in better well being as well. Moreover, it also prevents expenses incurred from diseases such as obesity, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. It’s a positive development for a healthy community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear position on whether it is a positive development. Your ideas are relevant, such as the mention of 'customized training schedules' and 'targeted diet charts'. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that personal training is expensive, you do not fully explore the socio-economic implications or the potential downsides of this trend beyond the cost. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are more thoroughly extended with specific examples or deeper analysis of the consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'In modern times', 'Therefore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved; the second body paragraph is quite short and could have been better integrated or expanded. Additionally, the referencing in the third paragraph is slightly confusing, as it is unclear how 'health conscious individuals' adapting exercises from a coach relates to the previous point about conventional sports.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'determinant', 'optimum physical fitness', and 'cardiovascular health'. There are some minor collocation issues, such as 'bring more faster results' (should be 'bring faster results' or 'more rapid results') and 'the expenditure is worthwhile' (which is correct, but the preceding 'Although... yet' structure is redundant). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but there is room for more precision and natural phrasing to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'As personal trainer provides' is missing an article ('a' or 'the'), and 'It has been demonstrated by the modern medical science' contains an unnecessary article before 'modern medical science'. The phrase 'Although... yet' is a common error where two conjunctions are used for the same clause. Despite these errors, your writing remains easy to follow, and the mistakes do not impede communication.

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