Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an old saying that Health is Wealth. In this contemporary era, people are taking their health seriously as compared to the old days. In this revolutionized period, lots of new jobs are created which did not exist before. One of the popular job related to health is personal fitness trainers. People are getting fitness trainer certifications to earn. Therefore, number of people who are hiring personal fitness trainer is escalating. There are several reasons behind this approach of people which we will discuss in further paragraphs. Moreover, I would say that there are both positive and negative impacts of this practice which will also be discussed further.

First and foremost, we will discuss the benefits of hiring personal fitness trainers. firstly, people are working in fast paced era. People are more busy in work and struggling with work-life balance already. Although, they are aware about their health, they would like to hire personal trainer which will be compatible with their time. Because, exercise or yoga classes are arranged at particular place and time. Additionally, people who want to play sports outside, do not have time compatability with their friends due to thier responisibilites. Thus, they prefer to hire their personal fitness trainer to take care of their health. Most importantly, fitness trainers give people training, suggestions and diet plans according to their body, allergy, immune system and health progress. In other words, people would like to get more personalized diet and exercises after analyzing their body.

On the other hand, there are some negative effects of this practice. People who can afford personal trainers or who wants to have personalized health plan are hiring fitness trainers. Afterwards, it is getting popular through social media which is affecting the mindset of middle-class people, eventually, they are trying to copy the trend and spending money more than their pocket. Moreover, due to this indoor fitness training, people are forgetting the traditional yoga benefits, outdoor fun and activities which provide them more refreshment and fresh air.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for hiring personal trainers and discusses whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for flexibility in a fast-paced lifestyle and the financial burden on middle-class individuals. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on the negative impacts could be more deeply explored by providing specific examples of how social media pressure manifests. The position is clear, but the conclusion is missing, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band as the argument is not fully rounded off.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Afterwards, it is getting popular'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a concluding paragraph disrupts the overall coherence of the piece. Paragraphing is present but the final structure feels incomplete.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'personalized diet', 'work-life balance', and 'fast-paced era'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural word choices or phrasing, such as 'time compatability' and 'spending money more than their pocket'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise collocation and a wider range of academic vocabulary to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'One of the popular job related to health is' (should be 'jobs'), 'number of people... is escalating' (needs an article), and 'people who can afford... or who wants' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to limit the score to a 6.0.

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