Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern's era increasing number of individuals prefer to pay for personal fitness instructors instead of spending times on team sports as well as group exercise classes. In my opinion, this is largely a positive development because of flexible scheduling and individual guidance.

First of all, one positive aspect is that folks can manage their time according to working schedule. To Explain it, people who have hectic schedule because of rat race of earning money they can join training sessions with coach at time chosen by them and they can get companionship with mentors. For example: Individuals who are struggling with irregular shifts may prefer personal coach so they can learn in a effective way.

Another prominent point is that Beginners can get individual session. In other words, people who are struggling to use various kinds of machines available at gym get help from coaches, get encouragement to use that in a effective way. For instance, folks can learn proper techniques to safely handled distinct varieties of equipments. Thus, this prevents them from any kind of injury.

In conclusion, i would like to assert that personalised instruction and convenient scheduling enlarge the demand of personal fitness trainers. However, it reduces the social interactions between individuals. I believe that this trend has positive development among people because it helps them to choose their time and encouraged to safely handling the machines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. While the reasons (flexibility and individual guidance) are relevant, the supporting arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack detailed examples. The position is clear, but the conclusion introduces a new point about social interaction that was not previously discussed in the body paragraphs, which weakens the overall logical flow. To improve, ensure all points are fully expanded and meet the length requirement to allow for a more comprehensive discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Another prominent point', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal structure. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the jump from discussing equipment safety to the conclusion is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea would help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'modern's era' and 'rat race of earning money', which sound unnatural. The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary like 'personal fitness instructors' and 'individual guidance', but there is a reliance on simpler terms. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and avoiding informal or clunky expressions. Expanding your range of synonyms and ensuring words are used in their correct context will significantly enhance your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'spending times' (should be 'time'), 'in a effective way' (should be 'in an effective way'), and 'safely handled' (should be 'safely handle'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters and commas. The control over complex structures is limited, and errors in articles and verb forms persist throughout the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would help improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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