Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some groups of countries, A lot of people are hiring personal fitness teachers, instead of training by themselves. This essay will discuss the possible reasons behind this and tell us whether it is a positive or negative development.

To start with, factors that are pushing people towards hiring personal trainers are that people always see individuals get injuries and long-term damage to their health, this is the first reason people hire fitness trainers. For instance, hiring coaches for Gym and fitness activities can save people from unnecessary injuries. Apart from this, time is the major thing for people today, so people do not want to waste their valuable time for useless sports and exercises, this is the reason people think to hire a coach instead of wasting their money and time on ineffective activities. These are some common aspects of hiring personal coaches by individuals.

Therefore, this is a positive development for upcoming generations, this one thing will promote the right fitness knowledge, because the proper guidance and experience will help people to achieve their fitness goals quickly and efficiently. People will eat healthy and grow fast with the help of coaching. For example, my friend was training from last 3 years without proper guidance, and i started the Gym last year with my coach, and I am as strong and healthy as my friend. Apart from this, people in future will have to face less injuries and wounds with sports.

In conclusion, Overall hiring professionals for fitness activities is a good idea to avoid injuries, and getting a balanced diet for personal growth in life. This is really good decision of people to stay healthy mentally and physically.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding 'useless sports' is vague and lacks clear explanation. The position is clear, but the supporting points, such as the comparison with a friend, are anecdotal and lack the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and perhaps consider broader societal or economic factors beyond just injury prevention and time management.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To start with', 'Apart from this', and 'In conclusion', which help the flow. However, some transitions are mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'this is the reason' or 'this one thing'. The referencing is sometimes slightly unclear, and the connection between sentences could be smoother to avoid a choppy feel. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good idea', 'useless', and 'grow fast'. There are some minor collocation issues, such as 'training from last 3 years' (should be 'has been training for the last three years') and 'hiring personal fitness teachers' (usually 'hiring personal trainers'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to health, fitness, and societal trends, and focus on using words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'people always see individuals get injuries' (should be 'people often see individuals sustaining injuries') and 'i started the Gym' (should be 'I started going to the gym'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without losing clarity. Proofreading for basic errors like capitalization of 'i' and 'Gym' is essential.

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