Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is irrefutable that people promote specific things in terms of earning money in various ways. Regarding this issue, some in society believe that in a few nations, investors spend money hiring gym trainers rather than promoting individuals to pursue sports and activities. Well, there are numerous reasons behind this trend, and personally, I believe it is positive for the upcoming generation, which will be elaborated in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin with, there are a plethora of reasons behind this. First and foremost is personal trainer can design a workout plan according to the needs of a person who wants to be fit. By making a plan for different body types, it becomes easy to get fit in a specific time rather than spending a huge amount of time on only one exercise. Doing free exercise without a trainer takes loger time to get results, and trainers provide a plan regarding eating healthy meals and a proper diet.

Moreover, a trainer can monitor their client's progress and record the specific areas where there is a need for improvement. For example, A person may struggle with fitness for a long time without any timeline or any fitness check, as gym trainers nowadays provide fat amounts and different vitamins or other protein deficiencies parameter. If the person does not know where there is a need for improvement, then how will they get fit?

Well, I believe that it is a good thing if more trainers get hired, which helps to improve the core area of a person.

To conclude, it can be said that having a personal fitness trainer is much better than doing free exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefits of personalized plans and progress monitoring, the explanation remains quite superficial. For instance, the example provided regarding 'fat amounts and different vitamins' is unclear and lacks logical depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more specific, real-world examples and ensure that the link between the reasons and your overall position is more robustly established.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'If the person does not know where there is a need for improvement, then how will they get fit?'. The logical progression is present but could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'irrefutable', 'plethora', and 'subsequent'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'promoting individuals to pursue sports' and 'fat amounts and different vitamins or other protein deficiencies parameter'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly obscure. To improve, focus on using vocabulary that is more natural and contextually accurate. Avoid using complex words if you are not entirely sure of their precise meaning or collocation in a given context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'First and foremost is personal trainer can design' (missing article/subject-verb agreement) and 'takes loger time' (spelling). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors, such as the unnecessary capitalization in 'For example, A person'. The majority of your sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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