Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

With growing awareness about fitness and health, people are hiring personal trainers. This essay will discuss the reasons for this trend and why individuals are not indulging in sports or regular exercise instead.

Origin of sports and fitness is as far as human history go. Spartans use to train with such techniques called calisthenics in modern age. Soon body building and muscle hypertrophy took society by storm in 1970's. Since then people started leaning towards muscle growth instead of actual sports. Body building legends like Arnold had huge impact on society to build muscles as people wanted a physique like his. Due to this influence personal trainers got into the equation. Today personal training is one of the biggest industry in fitness.

Furthermore, social media trends like posting body physique pictures to show off people, also plays a key role in hiring personal trainers . Everyone wants to look aesthetic in this contemporary society rather than being naturally fit. Additionally, muscle hypertrophy is actually easy than learning a sport or doing explosive drills. All you need is a personal trainer for diet and guidance but lifting weight is the easy part. One to one training is expensive that's why trainers earn a lot and people seeking dream physique are willing to pay. Demand and supply is one of the primary reasons as well.

In conclusion I would like state that although personal training is not bad for ones fitness goals, but focusing on natural exercises and sport is beneficial for overall conditioning of the body. It is mandatory for our cardiovascular health as well. Keeping these points in mind we should maintain a balance in both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention social media and the desire for an 'aesthetic' physique, the discussion on why this is a negative or positive development is quite brief and lacks depth. The conclusion touches on the need for balance but does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a clear link back to the prompt's requirement for a balanced evaluation of the trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition from the historical context of Spartans to modern bodybuilding is abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'social media trends like posting body physique pictures to show off people'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas, using terms like 'muscle hypertrophy', 'aesthetic', and 'contemporary society'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'biggest industry in fitness' should be 'biggest industries in the fitness sector', and 'muscle hypertrophy is actually easy than learning' should be 'easier than'. There is also a tendency to use repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding minor errors in word formation, such as using 'body building' instead of the standard 'bodybuilding'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the precision of your writing. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Spartans use to train', 'social media trends... plays a key role') and missing articles ('is one of the biggest industry'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater control to minimize these recurring errors.

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