Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In early 21st century the awareness towards health and fitness has grown drastically compared to earlier times. Today more people are associated with outdoor activities, sports, and gyms in particular. Also an article of a renowned newspaper stated that people now have a record number of personal trainer which is almost 8 times than in 1980's.

Another study from a Harvard University states that average middle class Purchase Power Parity (PPP) all over the world has increased and now they do spend their earning in lifestyle and travelling but more importantly on good health. Personal training is the key aspects which was in focus.

In a survey people were asked that would they consider sports like football, hockey or swimming same as a physical training given by a personal trainer, where majority voted that these two are not to be considered same. They argued that any sports which a person is associated can be a part of their hobby and hence people who seek fitness tend to choose personal trainer where as a person who enjoys sports will opt for sports.

Another debate was exercise classes vs personal training. Most people see this as same activity but in many developed countries they do bifurcate as exercise classes as general approach towards fitness and personal in more advanced and dedicated manner which is more attractive to disciplined trainners.

The overall scenario in my opinion remains very neutral as any kind, type or practice towards being physically fit is always a positive sign in my view. Also it is very subjective in individual's opinion to choose sport as a hobby, exercise classes or personal training in more suitable way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention increased purchasing power and a desire for specialized training, these points are not fully explored or supported with detailed reasoning. The conclusion is present but lacks a strong, definitive stance, which is required to fully address the prompt. To improve, ensure that each reason is supported by a clear explanation or example that directly links back to the question, and maintain a consistent, well-supported position throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a logical progression from reasons to a discussion of sports and classes. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'Also an article of a renowned newspaper'. Some sentences feel disconnected, and the referencing could be smoother. Paragraphing is used, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally rather than relying on simple transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'bifurcate', 'subjective', and 'disciplined'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'associated with outdoor activities' (where 'engaged in' might be more natural) and 'record number of personal trainer' (which should be plural). There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'Purchase Power Parity' (usually 'Purchasing Power Parity'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'In early 21st century' (missing 'the'), '8 times than in 1980's' (should be '8 times higher than in the 1980s'), and 'personal in more advanced' (missing a noun). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for articles and pluralization would be beneficial.

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