Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, many individuals are hiring their own fitness trainer instead of doing excercise and participate in sports. Although this trend may have some drawbacks, I believe that is a negstive development overall.

The primary reason why i consider this development negative is that people should participate in sports to make their body fit and play different kinds of games with their friends and family, so they may make strong bond with them, communicate face to face, share their good and bad time, and many more, so people can stay physically and mentally fit. For instence, in recent news youngster was making body in gym and because of loneliness he suicide.

Another significant disadvantage is that personal trainer can give knowledge about equipment, teach excercise, and give advise about nutrition food like what to eat? and what to skip?. In addtionally, in this technological era, people can get all kind of information online, they do not need to pay for it. For example, currently youngster are getting significant knowledge about their health from chatgpt and other online applications and save money for future.

In conclusion, although personal trainer are helping individuals for nutrition consumption, exercise, motivation, yoga and etcetra may have some disagvantages, I believe that is a negative development because people can feel loneliness and stay away from friends and family .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—reasons and the nature of the development—the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient depth. For instance, the point about loneliness is introduced but not logically connected to the hiring of a personal trainer in a convincing way. Additionally, the second body paragraph contains contradictory logic, as it discusses the benefits of a trainer but then dismisses them in favor of online information. The position is clear, but the lack of length and depth prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While cohesive devices like 'In conclusion' and 'Another significant disadvantage' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly, such as 'In addtionally'. The progression of ideas is often disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the argument shifts abruptly from the role of a trainer to the availability of online information. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms. There are several spelling errors, such as 'excercise', 'negstive', 'instence', 'addtionally', and 'disagvantages'. The word choice is often imprecise, such as 'making body' instead of 'building muscle' or 'nutrition food' instead of 'nutritious food'. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the frequent errors and restricted range prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, the student should focus on accurate spelling and learning collocations related to health and fitness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('personal trainer can give', 'youngster are'), incorrect article usage, and awkward punctuation, such as the unnecessary question marks in 'what to eat? and what to skip?'. Complex structures are attempted but are often faulty or contain errors in word order. The frequent errors in basic grammar, such as 'he suicide' instead of 'he committed suicide', indicate a lack of control over sentence construction, which limits the score in this criterion.

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