Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people have become workaholic and also health conscious. In many countries people prefer to hire their personal coach regarding their fitness , while

others are playing sports or doing exercise classes. This essay will discuss both point of

views before presenting my opinion.

As far as fitness is concerned , every individual prefer to look healthy and maintain their

weight. Sometimes people may become obbies because of unhealthy and unhygienic food as a result they gain there weight. After realising that their weight has increased

they decide to lose their weight by doing some exercises and yoga. Many rolly-polly people prefer personal coach for their fitness because with the assistance of coaches

they are able to release their weight as per their requirements.

On the other hand , some people prefer for their fitness by playing sports or doing

exercises in classes. Many individuals believe that playing sports has many benefits.

While playing sports they gain skills in appropriate skills. Doing exercises in classes is

also reasonable because all people do not afford personal coaches for their fitness.

In conclusion , person who are obbies and they are rich and wealthy and want to focus on their fitness always they should hire coach for their fitness. But people who want fitness as well as gain skills in sports they should play sports for their healthy lifestyles.

In my opinion, person who are passionate about fitness freak and they do not want to

compromise their health they should hire coach for their fitness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is limited. The reasons provided (weight loss and convenience) are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The discussion regarding whether it is a positive or negative development is unclear; the conclusion mentions that people should hire coaches if they are wealthy or passionate, but it does not explicitly state whether the trend itself is positive or negative for society. The response would benefit from more specific examples and a more balanced exploration of the implications of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'for their fitness' and 'playing sports'. The transition between paragraphs is basic, and the logical progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing. For instance, the jump from discussing weight loss to the benefits of sports is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and contains several non-standard or informal terms, such as 'obbies' (likely intended as 'obese'), 'rolly-polly', and 'fitness freak'. These choices are inappropriate for an academic IELTS task. There is also frequent repetition of basic phrases like 'hire a coach' and 'for their fitness'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the use of informal, non-standard vocabulary prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. A wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to health, lifestyle, and socio-economic factors is needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'person who are obbies' (subject-verb agreement) and 'all people do not afford' (incorrect verb usage). Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spaces before commas. There are frequent errors in articles, prepositions, and word forms (e.g., 'release their weight' instead of 'lose weight'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause the reader to pause, though they do not completely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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