Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A significant number of individuals are opting for a personal fitness coach instead of participating in sports or taking exercise classes in some countries. This attitude stems from two fundamental reasons: some people consider it a time-saving approach, while others believe it allows them to have more customized training. In my view, it is a negative development because it can damage the sense of community among its residents and promote laziness.

The primary concern about hiring a personal trainer is class differences. Those from underprivileged backgrounds cannot even imagine having a trainer of their own because it is expensive. For instance, I heard that only elite people can afford to have an independent coach. An additional reason for my stance is that some individuals tend to rely only on personal training rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. This way, they acquire a sedentary lifestyle despite having all the privileges.

That said, I also believe it is often hard for some people to follow strict timelines at a gym; therefore, they prefer working out at their own pace. For example, having access to individual training can help people manage their time more efficiently. Furthermore, it is believed by many that they can have customized training at home rather than joining a gym, which saves them a lot of time.

In conclusion, although it has become more popular for people to hire a personal fitness trainer, it has brought about too many problems, like insecurity among lower-class individuals and the rise of a sluggish lifestyle among high-class communities, for this to be considered a positive trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing reasons for the trend and a clear opinion on whether it is positive or negative. Your position is consistent throughout the essay. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention 'class differences' and 'sedentary lifestyle' as negative impacts, these points could be more deeply explored with more specific examples or logical links. The discussion of the benefits (time-saving) is present but feels slightly disconnected from the overall argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained and directly tied to your central thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You use a range of cohesive devices, such as 'The primary concern,' 'An additional reason,' and 'That said,' which help guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical, and the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better reflect the contrast between the negative and positive aspects you are discussing. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'underprivileged backgrounds,' 'sedentary lifestyle,' and 'efficiently.' There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly repetitive or could be more precise. For example, 'elite people' is a bit informal; 'affluent individuals' or 'the wealthy' would be more appropriate in an academic context. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but expanding your range of collocations and topic-specific terminology would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear, and your control of grammar is generally good. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'damage the sense of community among its residents' (where 'its' lacks a clear antecedent) and 'only elite people.' However, these errors do not impede communication. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences or more sophisticated passive constructions, while maintaining your current level of accuracy.

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