Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is irrefutable that in few nations, the majority of individuals prefer to hire their personal trainer instead of enrolling in games and exercise sessions. I believe it is a destructive development in the society which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs along with reasons behind this phenomenon.

To commence with, there are multifarious reasons of this trend. The predominant one is that personal attention. In other words, when people hire their own trainer then they can more focus to follow schedule to maintain good health as well as trainer can teach single person more perfectly regardless any distraction. Furthermore, individuals who just get recovery from their any injury and they want to continue their work out , they will not hesitate because there is no one to judge their performance. Thus, individuals can improve their fitness after any hindrance with the proper guidance of trainer.

There are many grave repercussions of this phenomenon. First and foremost is that people can get deprive of socialization. To explain it, people who play in team and go for exercise classes, they are more socialize in the community because they have opportunities to social interactions and they learn teamwork as well. Moreover, hiring personal trainer is expensive rather than enrolling sports club. People have to spend extra money which they can use to follow their daily healthy diet to stay fit.

To conclude it, people have to hire trainer due to personal attention and some persons need extra efforts from trainer due to some illness . However, drawbacks of this trend can not be neglected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear position on whether it is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of personal attention and the drawbacks regarding socialization and cost. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about injury recovery is a good specific example, but the explanation of why this is a 'destructive' development could be more deeply explored. The conclusion is a bit brief and merely summarizes rather than reinforcing the argument effectively. Overall, the response meets the requirements but lacks the depth of analysis expected for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'First and foremost', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To conclude it'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear or repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure is clear, which supports the reader's understanding of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'multifarious', 'irrefutable', and 'repercussions'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'get deprive of socialization' instead of 'deprived of', and 'more socialize' instead of 'more socialized'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using collocations more accurately and refining their word choice to sound more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'in few nations' (should be 'a few'), 'more focus to follow schedule' (should be 'focus more on following a schedule'), and 'regardless any distraction' (should be 'regardless of'). There are also issues with article usage and verb forms. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Increasing the number of error-free sentences and improving control over complex structures would significantly improve the score.

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