Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

One of the main reason is that people are busy in their day to day life. They don't have enough time to join scheduled classes. That's why they hired a personal trainers for fitness as compare to scheduled classes or sports. For instance, my neighbors joined yoga classes from 2 years but now their shift schedules varies a lot. That's why they left the classes and hired a personal trainer for themselves. Who even came to their house for training sessions. As a result, this can saves their time.

In my perspective, it is a negative development. This is because by participating in sports and doing exercise classes, they can meet new people and build good teamwork skills. Furthermore, they can even make good friends as well. For instance, most of my friends first met in the gym and after that our bond become more stronger day by day. Additionally, we always motivate each other to participate in different sports.

Another significant reason is that, higher personal trainer is much more expensive than joining the classes. Because people make their appointment with their trainer by their own convenience. That's why they charge more. For example, my neighbors pays twice the amount to his trainer as compare to the classes.

To conclude, it is a negative development because people won't be able to meet new members and they have to pay more amount to a personal trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the essay falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the reasons provided (busy schedules and cost) are relevant, the discussion remains somewhat superficial. The position that this is a negative development is clear, but the arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure you provide more depth to your examples and fully meet the word count to allow for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'That's why', 'Additionally', 'For instance'). There are also instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the sentence fragment 'Who even came to their house for training sessions.' While the overall structure is logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words and occasional awkward transitions prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Improving the variety of cohesive devices will enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'higher personal trainer' instead of 'hiring a personal trainer' and 'my neighbors pays' instead of 'my neighbor pays'. The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, relying on basic terms. To improve, you should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to fitness and lifestyle, while paying closer attention to word forms and subject-verb agreement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('my neighbors joined... but now their shift schedules varies'), tense inconsistencies ('my friends first met... and after that our bond become more stronger'), and sentence fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic grammatical rules, particularly regarding verb tenses and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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