Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Living In modern era we can see that number of people are hiring personal trainers instead of going out doing exercise or sports. I personally believe that it is a personal choice and definitely it is positive in so many manners which I will describe in forthcoming paragraphs.
Primarily, it is very important that we take care of our health because health is true wealth. so many people who can afford personal trainers are hiring them for workout or regular exercise. for example Celebrities, they do not have enough time because of their busy schedule so they hire personal trainers who keep records of their fitness every single day.They provide information what to eat or not , how many times you have to workout , in that way one can really take care of their health by just following the steps which are given .
However if a person is suffering from obesity or someone is not satisfied from their physique and they actually want to change theirselves , they can hire personal trainers if they do not where to start, how to start , when to start . Trainers provide you all the information about gym trainings, food and exercise.
On the other hand, some people does not like to play sports or join exercise classes with strangers because they are afraid of theri physical appearance to go in public so I think that can be the reason of this .
In conclusion , I really believe that hiring personal trainers is the best idea if someone does not know how to do it. and it is actually positive because when someone gets healthy they achieve a different level of mental peace and confidence which cannot be described.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention busy schedules and lack of knowledge as reasons, these points are not fully extended with detailed examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear throughout, but the arguments remain at a surface level. To improve, aim to provide more specific evidence or logical consequences for your points to ensure a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition between ideas could be smoother; phrases like 'Primarily' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, which affects the overall readability and flow of the text. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would enhance the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'physique', 'obesity', and 'fitness'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'change theirselves' (should be 'change themselves') and 'take care of their health by just following the steps which are given'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with more sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some people does not like'), missing articles, and incorrect pronoun usage (e.g., 'change theirselves'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after punctuation marks. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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