Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, people are worried more about their fitness then ever. In some nations, an increasing number of people are hiring a personal fitness trainer instead of doing exercise classes or playing sports. There are numerous reasons behind this, which I will discuss in forthcoming paragraphs alongside why it is considered a negative development.
To begin with, the main reason why people hire a personal trainer is that, he does not only help with exercises but selecting proper diet too. If a person wants to stay fit and healthy, then food is as important as exercise. Moreover, everyone needs customizable diet according to their physic and needs, and trainer plays a major role for selecting that. Another reason could be the purpose of staying fit. For example, if someone is preparing for body building competition, then playing sport is not going to help one, but personal trainer will, by suggesting range of exercise according to person's weakness.
However, paying too much amount of money to trainer is not worth it in today's world. As AI can help everyone with almost anything, from selecting exercise to making customizable diet according to person's allergies and taste. Furthermore, if a normal human wants to stay fit then he should play sport rather than paying for gym and trainer. Because, it is not only going to help them by maintaining good physic but also develops skills like teamwork. Because of these reasons, this is idea of hiring a trainer is considered negative development.
To conclude, because personal fitness trainer helps in selecting meals and prepare for competitions, people hire them. But this problem can be solved by using an AI or by playing sports.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the focus on personalized diet and the mention of AI as an alternative. However, the development is somewhat limited. The argument that it is a 'negative development' is presented, but the reasoning—relying on AI and the social benefits of sports—could be more deeply explored to reach a higher band. The position is clear throughout, but the explanation of why it is 'negative' feels slightly rushed in the final paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'However,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or repetitive, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'he' to refer to a 'personal trainer' (which should be gender-neutral). The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between the paragraphs could be smoother to create a more cohesive flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'customizable' and 'physic' (though 'physique' is the correct term here). Some word choices are slightly awkward, such as 'paying too much amount of money' instead of 'paying exorbitant fees' or 'excessive amounts'. The range is sufficient to communicate, but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'worried more about their fitness then ever' (should be 'than'), 'trainer plays a major role for selecting that' (should be 'in selecting'), and 'this is idea of hiring' (should be 'this idea of hiring'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with sentence fragments and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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