Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In some countries, an increasing number of individuals prefer to hire a personal fitness trainer rather than play sports or attend exercise classes. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this trend and explain why I believe it is a positive development.
There are several reasons why people are increasingly choosing a personal fitness trainer. Firstly, personal trainers provide individualized workout plans based on a person's fitness level, diet plan and physical condition. This will guide the coach on the best way to handle the client .For example, mothers who gave birth recently and have a condition called diastasis recti needs to be handled with utmost care.
Secondly, employing a trainer helps to schedule it around your availability especially when your job is quite demanding. This will encourage the clients to be punctual to the sessions. In addition, it would make them stay committed to the exercise as it has been proved that individuals tend to always keep to time especially if it was schedule by them. For instance, last year when I hired a private trainer due to the fact that I am always busy and do have time to go for an exercise classes. I realised that it was convenient for me and was always looking forward to the sessions.
Hiring a personal fitness trainers allows individuals to a personalized programmes, this will contribute to a measured progress and increase their motivation to exercise. To illustrate, majority of the trainers follow a strict routine that cannot be compromised when it comes to their client as they have a customised workout plans.
In conclusion, although participating in sports or attending exercise classes have several benefits, I believe that hiring a personal trainer is more advantageous because it provides the individual with personalised guidance, strict schedule and work around the clients availability.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear position that it is a positive development. Ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of individualized plans and scheduling flexibility. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the example regarding 'diastasis recti' is specific but could be better integrated into the argument. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, merely restating points rather than synthesizing them. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more depth rather than just listing benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In addition' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by minor grammatical issues, such as the sentence fragment 'For instance, last year when I hired...'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring sentence-level cohesion would strengthen this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific language like 'individualized workout plans' and 'customised'. However, there is some repetition of basic terms like 'exercise' and 'trainers'. There are also minor word-choice errors, such as 'schedule it around your availability' (should be 'schedule sessions') and 'do have time' (should be 'do not have time'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing by using synonyms or paraphrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('needs to be handled' instead of 'need to be handled'), missing articles ('a personalized programmes'), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'For instance, last year when I hired... I realised...' is a fragment. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence completeness would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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