Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, more and more people are focusing on their health in many nations that is the reason they are hiring personal fitness instructor rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes by their own this could leads to positive and negative both of the development and there are several reasons behind it that will be explain in this essay.

First of all now a days due to busy lifestyle more and more people are loosing interest on their health but still they want to remain healthy and fit those people thinks that if they hires a personal coach then it will be easy for them to maintaining their health which may good thing some how because hiring a personal trainer helps completely with their fitness such as they give proper attention on their health and exercises let me be clear with the example, if a person is trying to do exercises in the gym by their own but some how they feel distracted for so many things and do not focus on anything for that if they hire a personal trainer then they give proper diet chart to them on the top of that they are supporting them with the exercises because they are professional at it and they know what to do for weight management or loosing weight or up to so many things which are important for human body these can be only possible with the help of personal guide.

Secondly, I would like to discuss some demerits of this situation is due to hiring a personal coach may leads to an high cost which may be difficult to afford for the normal people on the top of that it makes person completely dependent on them like sometimes we feel that without personal guide they are not able to do anything which makes it even worse In addition to that there are numerous exercises that is available on the social media platforms such as Instagram , Facebook , You Tube which people can see them online and that helps to do exercise by their own despite of being dependent on the personal coach.

In conclusion , hiring personal trainer for few months is good thing but being completely dependent on them leads to huge problems in their life on the top of that doing exercise on our own is a important thing to make our lifestyle healthy and fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and discussing whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'distraction' in the gym is a valid point, but the explanation lacks depth and relies on informal phrasing. The position is clear, but the analysis could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. The essay would benefit from more specific examples beyond general references to social media or gym behavior to better support the arguments provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'on the top of that' and 'in addition to that'. Some sentences are run-on, and the lack of punctuation (commas and periods) makes the flow of ideas feel disjointed. While there is an overall logical structure, the transitions between sentences are not always smooth, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, which limits the effectiveness of the cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'loosing interest on their health' (instead of 'in') and 'up to so many things'. The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary prevents a higher score. Improving the use of synonyms and more precise academic terminology would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'those people thinks'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'that will be explain'), and a lack of proper punctuation, which results in several run-on sentences. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors is high. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct tense usage, and using punctuation to separate distinct ideas clearly.

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