Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Health is a most important factor of a person. Many Individuals from different countries are tended toward getting a personal trainer instead of indulging into sports and exercise classes. We will talk about the reasons in following paragraphs. I believe it is less positive and more negative growth.

Firstly, being physically fit is a good habit many people hire a personal staff to train them without thinking about any sports. This activity is expensive and negative to some extent if everyone will hire a personal trainer there will be shortage of sports mans in our country. People are flexing over the social media that they have personal trainer which influences other average salaried individuals to put his hard earned money into this, without a think about joining a sport.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 129 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you identify the reasons and state your position, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The task requires a more thorough exploration of why people choose personal trainers and a balanced, well-reasoned discussion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Because the response is less than half the required length, it is impossible to fully address all parts of the prompt, resulting in a low score for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure is very basic. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'In following paragraphs', but the flow of ideas is disjointed. The transition between the reasons for hiring a trainer and the evaluation of whether it is a positive or negative development is abrupt. The logical progression is hindered by the brevity of the text, making it difficult to follow a clear argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked using a wider variety of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases such as 'most important factor' and 'getting a personal trainer' are basic. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'indulging into sports' (should be 'indulging in') and 'shortage of sports mans' (should be 'shortage of athletes'). The use of 'flexing over the social media' is informal and not appropriate for an IELTS essay. You need to expand your vocabulary to include more precise, academic terms related to health, fitness, and societal trends to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Many Individuals... are tended toward' (should be 'tend toward'), 'without a think about' (should be 'without thinking about'), and 'if everyone will hire' (should be 'if everyone hires'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses in conditional sentences, and using a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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