Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Throughout the globe the wealthy are becoming wealthy and the needy are becoming more needy, I will be explaining this essay and give my opinion how can we get over the issue of wealth.
On the one hand, richer and poor people between gap, wealthy people have more money and very good opportunities as well as resources, while needy people cannot their need, Poor children they do not get good education, because they can not afford expensive schools and tuition. This is the reason why they do not get good job due to of lack of education; therefore, they cannot come back in poverty. It can be increased unemployment and crime. People do not get good job and salary so they can go to crime and illegal activities for survival. Needy people can not have enough money for nutritious food and healthcare and safe housing,
On the other hand, Government should provide free education, scholarships and skill training. So, people can get good education and better job therefor getting better salary so they live easily their life. Government should support industries and small business it helps for create new job, and government should fixe minimum wage so they can full fill their needs. The administration can give housing and free healthcare and food supply for poor people, if public authorities provide these types of facilities so defiantly will be reduced poverty.
In conclusion, Government offer scholarships and skill development programmes to students, so they can shift their family financial condition.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response fails to address the specific prompt given. Instead of discussing personal fitness trainers, sports, and exercise classes, the student writes entirely about the wealth gap, poverty, and government intervention. This represents a complete misinterpretation of the task. Because the content is entirely off-topic, it cannot be considered an adequate response to the prompt, which severely impacts the task achievement score. While some general ideas about societal issues are presented, they do not relate to the specific prompt regarding fitness trends. Therefore, the response can only be awarded a band score of 3.0 based on the severe misunderstanding of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay shows some attempt at organization through standard transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', but the overall progression is difficult to follow due to the severe lack of relevant ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraphs are often single, run-on sentences or collections of disjointed points. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as 'therefore getting better salary so they live easily their life'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard to track the logical flow of arguments. Despite these structural flaws, there is a discernible attempt to group sentences around themes, placing the response at a band 4.0 level for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and often imprecise. The student frequently reuses words like 'wealthy', 'needy', 'poor', 'education', and 'job' in close proximity. There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies, such as 'cannot their need', 'come back in poverty', and 'fixe minimum wage', which stem from awkward word choices and translation habits. The range of vocabulary is quite limited and inadequate for discussing complex societal issues smoothly. Spelling is generally acceptable, but word formation and collocation errors are frequent and occasionally strain the reader's understanding. This performance aligns with the band 4.0 descriptors for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. The majority of sentences are simple or poorly constructed compound-complex sentences that contain multiple grammatical errors. Frequent errors include missing verbs, incorrect prepositions, and faulty subordination, such as 'Poor children they do not get good education' and 'if public authorities provide these types of facilities so defiantly will be reduced poverty'. Punctuation is also problematic, with comma splices replacing full stops. These errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader, although the general drift of the ideas can usually be guessed. This warrants a band score of 4.0 for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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