Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many individuals employ personal fitness instructor in some States instead of going to sports centres and attending exercise classes. This can be traced to one on one monitoring and this is a negative development because it is costly.

Individual that takes their time to learn can get one on one fitness instructor instead of going to classes or sports centre because they would be taught at their pace and this would make the learning more effective and yield result faster than group instructions, as the instructions would be narrowed to their specific needs. Example is someone trying to lose 10 grams of weight in a class of majority trying to lose 15 to 20 grams, it could be good to narrow the class to individual wants and have a good result at the end.

While this method is good and effective, it is a negative development because personal coach see it as a way to extort their clients and requires a lot of money and can even doubled the actual cost for going to classes in order to pay for their services. For example, most married women that employ personal fitness coaches stop after the first payment because of getting extorted by their employees.

In conclusion, While getting personal fitness instructor can be beneficial as one would be able to get efficient and flexible classes, it is a negative development because such idea could make the coach extort their employer and later results to the inability to continue with the training

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for hiring personal fitness trainers, such as personalised pacing and targeted instruction, and gives a clear position that it is a negative development due to the high cost and potential exploitation. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the example provided of someone trying to "lose 10 grams of weight" is imprecise and confusing in a fitness context, as grams are too small a unit. Furthermore, the argument regarding exploitation is generalised without sufficient supporting detail. Because all parts of the task are addressed and a clear position is maintained throughout, the response comfortably earns a Band 6.0 according to the official descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, moving to the reasons and the negative aspect, and ending with a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as "While this method is good and effective" and "In conclusion," though referencing and linking are occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as separating the advantages in the second paragraph from the disadvantages in the third. While some transitions could be smoother, the logical organisation is clear throughout, making Band 6.0 the most appropriate descriptor match.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as "personal fitness instructor," "one on one monitoring," and "flexible classes." However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices throughout the text. Examples include "lose 10 grams of weight" (where kilograms or pounds would be correct), "extort their clients" (where exploitation or overcharging might be more natural), and "employer" instead of "client" or "employee" in the final paragraph. Despite these errors, communication is not impeded, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main arguments, aligning well with the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and concessive clauses introduced by "while" and "because." However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ("Individual that takes their time... because they would be taught" and "personal coach see it"), missing plural markers ("Example is someone"), and run-on sentence structures that lack proper punctuation. Despite these frequent errors, meaning is generally clear and does not impede communication. This balance of mixed structures and persistent errors fits the Band 5.5 profile.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.