Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays it is a trend to hire a personal fitness trainer for a healthy lifestyle instead of physical activities like yoga , dance in form of excericse and playing sports in many countries.The main reason for this is people are more aware about their health so they need professionals.In my opinion it is more positive development that i will discuss in further paragraphs.

To commence with ,the first and the foremost reason for this is people are more serious about their health these days becuase of sudden heart attacks and increasing number of harmful diseases like cancer. So it is a positive development to hire a trainer to tell them what they need to do about their body .For instance, balanced diet and how much physical movement their body needs ,it is not possible without a trainer or doctor.

As a result it is helping a lot people to stay healthy and live longer.

Moreover , another major reason for this is people do not want to take any headache or stress for their body becuase already in this cut throat competition era they have workload. It helps them to feel relax because already their is someone to take responsibilities. Therefore, people find it more conveinient way rather than worrying about their fitness with their other household chores or office work.

In conclusion,although playing sports and excercise classes is helping people a lot to stay fit but these days people like to hire a personal fitness trainer for their overall health because it has more benifits as I mentioned above in the paragraphs. So it is a more positive development instead of negative according to me.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the reasons for hiring a personal trainer and giving a clear opinion that it is a positive development. Ideas are relevant, noting health awareness, stress relief, and the guidance professionals offer. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, tending to generalise without sufficient extended support or specific real-world examples. For instance, the mention of heart attacks and cancer is introduced as a reason, but it is not fully linked to why a personal trainer specifically addresses this better than traditional sports. This places the performance firmly at Band 6, where all parts of the task are addressed, but some ideas are slightly under-developed or unclear in their progression.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall progression and is divided into logical paragraphs with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as "To commence with", "Moreover", and "In conclusion" are used to sequence ideas. However, referencing and punctuation are occasionally faulty or mechanical; for example, spaces before commas (e.g., "yoga , dance") and missing articles affect the flow. Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but the linking between sentences can feel slightly abrupt or repetitive. This matches the Band 6 descriptor where there is a coherent overall arrangement and cohesion is present, but sometimes mechanical or faulty.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrases such as "cut throat competition", "overall health", and "balanced diet". However, there are noticeable spelling errors (e.g., "excercise", "becuase", "conveinient", "benifits") and awkward word choices or collocations, such as "take any headache or stress" and "positive development that i will discuss". Despite these inaccuracies, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without severely impeding communication, placing the response at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and subordinate structures like "although playing sports and excercise classes is helping people a lot..." However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ("people are more aware... so they need"), article usage, and run-on structures. Punctuation is also problematic with spacing around commas and periods. While complex structures are attempted, they often contain errors that require the reader to occasionally pause, though they rarely entirely impede communication. This corresponds closely to the Band 6 descriptors.

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