Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I n recent years, fitness has become a central issue in modern society, sparking debate regarding its impact on health, while it is often argued that having fitness trainer offers clear advantages. others contend that they create financial challanges. This essay will examine causes and argued that it is destructive development.

Taking a practical view, the primary driver behing this trend is lack of time. This is largely because nowadays people work round the clock and they donot have enough time to play gamesthen they prefer to go the gym and hire trainer who give them a diet chart along with the right excercise knowledge. for example, the renowed people hire trainer to make body in good shape which gives them good looking body. Therefore, instead of playing games, people prefer to hire trainer which save the time.

Apart from this, there are several notewothy conserns that cannot be overlooked. the critical factor here is that it make big hole in pocket. when people just hire only one trainer for excercise, they just meet only one person, they donot socilize and make themself introvert. insted of acting stress buster, this step more stress not only body but also on mind. For instance, most of count of individual facing lonliness because their body and mind get tired as they donot talk to other people. Thus mostly individual feel unhelthy in latter life.

Ultimately, hiring trainer and playing sports have their own benefits but the drawback of having personel trainner cannot be overlooked as it make people less sociolise and it will be destructive development

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, examining both the reasons for hiring personal fitness trainers and giving a clear position that it is a negative ('destructive') development. In terms of idea development, the discussion on the reasons behind the trend mentions lack of time and the need for tailored diet charts and exercise knowledge, while the negative impacts are framed around financial costs and a lack of social interaction. However, some arguments remain somewhat limited and under-developed, relying on sweeping generalisations rather than fully extended examples. For instance, the claim that hiring a trainer inevitably makes people introverted and lonely lacks robust support. Nevertheless, the main requirements of the prompt are covered, aligning well with the descriptors for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs are separated into logical themes addressing causes and conserns. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. There are noticeable issues with referencing and linking words, such as starting sentences abruptly ('the critical factor here is that...') and mechanical transitional markers. Furthermore, paragraphing is somewhat undermined by missing spaces, capitalisation errors, and punctuation slips across the text. While the progression of ideas is discernible, the cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate or inaccurate. These features place the response firmly at a Band 5.5 to 6.0, best represented by a Band 5.5 due to the noticeable disruptions in mechanical cohesion and referencing clarity.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'central issue in modern society', 'diet chart', and 'stress buster'. However, there are numerous lexical inaccuracies, incorrect collocations, and spelling errors throughout the essay, including 'challanges', 'behing', 'notewothy', 'conserns', 'sociolise', and 'personel trainner'. Phrases like 'make big hole in pocket' are overly informal and idiomatic for a formal essay. While communication of the core ideas is generally maintained despite these errors, the frequency of spelling and word-choice mistakes prevents the lexical score from reaching a higher band, making a Band 5.0 appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as 'While it is often argued that having fitness trainer offers clear advantages, others contend that they create financial challanges.' However, grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Examples include missing articles ('having fitness trainer', 'hire trainer'), tense inconsistencies, and run-on structures. Punctuation and spacing errors are widespread ('for example, the renowed people hire trainer to make body...'). Because these errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty or strain for the reader, particularly when combined with punctuation failures, the grammar performance aligns with a Band 5.0.

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