Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many states of the world, a large number of people are employing a fitness coach, instead of participating in sports or exercising. This is mainly because of having knowledge of nutrients, and workout. From my perspective, it is a positive development as it helps individuals to stay healthy physically and mentally.

The prime reason for working with a personal trainer is a vast knowledge of nutrients and guidance provided while doing exercise. To explain it, these days mostly people adapt a healthy lifestyle, and they donot have sufficient information about food and proper usage of training apparatus.Therefore, fitness coach plays a crucial role in providing them a diet plan and adequate supervision during workout, which helps them in reducing weight and appropriate direction to achieving the long-term fitness benefits. For instance, in the UK, millions of people hired a personal coach to maintain fitness.

According to me, it is a positive trend among people, which assist the masses to maintain physical and mental well-being.To explicate it, Fitness instructors guide clients in having healthy meal and doing exercise, which proves to be beneficial for them, as nutritious food provides energy to stay active and energetic throughout the day, whereas exercise makes them feel refreshed. It helps respiratory system, heart and immune system work effectively. As a result, this trend has become increasingly important in society.

In conclusion, it is clear that nowadays many individuals are hiring a personal fitness trainer to gain appropriate knowledge from them that is related to a diet and exercise, and this development has more benefits physically and mentally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the reasons for hiring a personal fitness trainer and whether this is a positive or negative development. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is typical for this level. For instance, the reasons regarding nutrients and workout guidance in the second body paragraph are introduced and supported with an example about the UK, but the explanation remains somewhat general and could be extended further. Similarly, the positive development aspect in the third paragraph touches upon physical and mental well-being, yet lacks deeper elaboration or specific real-world examples to fully flesh out the arguments. Overall, the content is relevant and covers the prompt adequately, though deeper extension of your main ideas would help lift your score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, fully meeting the lower level and showing glimpses of higher-level cohesion. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, such as the reasons in the second paragraph and the positive evaluation in the third. Paragraphing is used appropriately to structure the response. However, cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical or repetitive, using transitional phrases like 'To explain it' and 'To explicate it' in a formulaic manner. Referencing is generally clear, but some of the linking devices lack variety, which holds the organization back from a higher band. Refining the transitions between sentences and ideas will make the flow more natural and sophisticated.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'nutrients', 'adequate supervision', and 'physical and mental well-being'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as writing 'mostly people adapt a healthy lifestyle' instead of 'most people adopt a healthy lifestyle' and 'hired a personal coach' instead of 'hire personal coaches'. Spelling and word-choice errors are present, for example 'donot' as a single unspaced word, but these do not impede communication. To move up to a higher band, you need to incorporate a wider and more precise range of vocabulary with fewer errors in collocation and style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

Your writing shows a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating that you can use a variety of structures. Examples of complex sentences include 'Fitness instructors guide clients in having healthy meal and doing exercise, which proves to be beneficial for them...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, such as missing articles ('plays crucial role' instead of 'plays a crucial role'), pluralization issues ('healthy meal' instead of 'healthy meals'), and occasional preposition misuse. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and do not obscure the meaning of your sentences. Improving your control over articles, plurals, and punctuation within complex structures will help you achieve a higher level of grammatical accuracy.

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